“This is a bad idea, Daniel.”
“Brain, you’re totally wrong. I can do this.”
“When was the last time you disassembled a six-cylinder engine?”
“Well, never.”
“When was the last time you disassembled any engine?”
“Well, my 1994 Honda del Sol.”
“Do you think there might be a difference between a 1994 Honda four cylinder and a 2005 Nissan 350z’s 300Hp six cylinder engine?”
“Not enough for me to really consider there’s going to be a huge problem changing the spark plugs, no.”
“You should read the maintenance manual before you spend cash on new platinum spark plugs.”
“One needs a spark plug socket and a ratchet to change spark plugs, Brain. I have those tools.”
“Daniel, the last time you looked until the hood of your car, did you see the spark plug wires?”
“No.”
“This is going to be a disaster, I just know it.”
“Shut it Brain! I’m on it.”
… thirty minutes later…
“How’s it going, Daniel?”
“I have lots of bolts, Brain.”
“Bolts?”
“Yes. The spark plugs are… in there.”
“In there?”
“Yes. And to get in there, I have to remove a lot of stuff.”
“Such as?”
“The stabilizer bar.”
“Mmmhmm.”
“The engine shroud.”
“Yes.”
“The upper intake manifold collector.”
“Natch.”
“The throttle control actuator.”
“It’s not really removed; it’s just kinda hanging there.”
“And now it looks like I have to remove the lower intake manifold collector.”
“It does indeed. Have you seen the spark plugs yet?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No, Brain. No spark plugs. They’re in there; that much I know.”
“Did you get the maintenance manual?”
“No. I’m good.”
“You should get the maintenance manual. You can probably download it from the Internet.”
“Nope. I’m just going to loosen this last bolt on the…”
“DON’T DROP IT!”
…tinkle…
“You dropped it, Daniel.”
“I dropped it.”
“It didn’t go inside the engine, did it?”
“No. It’s resting on the transmission housing.”
“Nice. By the way, do you know what those tubes are for?”
“No.”
“Do you think perhaps one of them is a vacuum tube?”
“Could be.”
“Do you think perhaps one of them is a water tube?”
“Could be.”
“What is your plan if you loose all your engine coolant when you take off the water tube?”
“Um.”
“What is your plan if you drop a bolt down the intake manifold?”
“Um.”
“Daniel. Get the maintenance manual.”
“OK OK OK! I’ll get the maintenance manual, Brain.”
… downloads the maintenance manual …
“Well Daniel, what does it say?”
“It says, ‘Remove the electric throttle control actuator as follows…’”
“Did you remove the electric throttle control actuator?”
“No, I just kinda left it hanging onto the upper intake manifold collector.”
“Because?”
“Because I didn’t want to mess with the cables.”
“HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN THE SPARK PLUGS YET?!”
“No.”
“What does the manual say?!”
“It says that once I remove the lower intake manifold cover…”
“The one with all the hoses that you can’t seal or fix if something goes wrong…”
“That there will be six black boxes that are the ignition coils…”
“Those boxes that are covered by wiring harnesses and hoses like spaghetti…”
“Then I unbolt an ignition coil, remove it, disconnect it, and at the bottom of the hole will be the spark plug.”
“Well that’s so simple you should let your son do it.”
“I shall not be deterred!”
“Daniel, get out of the engine.”
“No! I can do this!”
… several more bolts later …
“Well Brain, I have an ignition coil!”
“One, Daniel?”
“Yes! One ignition coil!”
“Can you see the spark plug?”
“I can!”
“Can you get to it?”
“Yes! I… um… well, I got the spark plug socket down the hole…”
“This sounds like fun.”
“But my socket extension isn’t long enough to get a ratchet on the spark plug socket.”
“Of course. Daniel, if you say you’re going to borrow a car to go to a store to buy a longer socket extension, I’m out of here for the rest of the weekend.”
“Brain, perhaps you’re right.”
“OF COURSE I’M RIGHT! You can’t even get to the other five ignition coils until you remove the lower intake manifold collector!”
“Yeah, I’m done. I’m going to get the spark plug socket out…”
…
“Daniel?”
“I’m um… the spark plug socket isn’t coming out.”
“Dear Lord…”
“OK THAT’S IT! HOW ABOUT YOU HELP ME OUT A BIT, BRAIN!”
“Fine. Get a pair of needle nose pliers and get the d@mn socket out of the engine.”
… futzes with pliers …
“HUZZAH! It’s out, Brain!”
“Excellent.”
“OK, I’m shoving this enigne back together before I don’t have a working car anymore.”
“Smart. Good choice. Well done.”
… thirty minutes later…
“Is it together, Daniel?”
“Yes Brain. The intake manifold collector is bolted and torqued. The ignition coil is installed. Even the stabilizer bar is tight. Everything is back the way I found it.”
“Good! Now, start it up.”
“Start it up?”
“Yes. Key, ignition, clutch, turn, pray.”
“Do I have to?”
“Yes!”
“Now?”
“Yes!
“I’m scared, Brain.”
“As you should. Is your Will up to date?”
“Everything goes to Mrs BRK.”
“Fire it up!”
… fires it up …
“It started, Brain! All the cylinders are firing, too!
“Thank Goodness. Now take a vacation day on Monday and get those spark plugs changed by a professional.”
“OK, I will. You know Brain, if this car hadn’t started, it would’ve made one h3ll of a good blog post.”
“Like your computer would’ve been in one piece had you rendered your car useless by trying to change spark plugs. Moron.”
Good to see Brain again. I was worried that these types of posts would not continue. Glad you got the car together. I think if I had done that the care would have been ruined. Listen to Brain from now on!
Thanks the Gods you gave Brain space.
I’d hate to have seen the conversation had he also been cooped up.
“Mrs BRK” stays that way? I guess in a “all names have been changed to protect the innocent”?
You may not be posting on WoW all the time anymore, but you are still BRK, ans she is still Mrs. BRK! Don’t change the “We” either… that is one of the most intertaining parts of your posts.
Too bad the car started up though… It would have been a good excuse to get a 370z…
i just did this yesterday for the first time im 17 the shit was intnse but i got it done
If we listen to the inter voice( you call it the brain) we are usually right. When we listen to our ego it is when I get into trouble . When I let it happen it is usually right . When I force it to happen I get into trouble . That is not to say that I don’t work for things because I do, but when I look up and I’m thinking it my way or the high way Good God watch out .. Loved you on BRK .. Loved that you are still writing or bloging . Glad to see that there is Mr and Mrs BRK still ..
Aahh, Brain… Yeah, Brain… Thank God you’re back!
These are one of the biggest things that make Daniel such a fantastic writer =]
It’s even that good that I’m feeling bad writing such positive things about “Brain” and not mentioning Daniel… Am I getting crazy? >.<
Keep up the blogging =] We’re enjoying it!
My grandfather owns a 350z Nismo. He likes it a lot more than the 370 or even the normal 350z. You seem like the sports car type of person like my grandfather. He doesn’t drive like an old fogey though. You should take a look at one if you haven’t already.
And I just want to say, you might have moved on from WoW but your fanbase is still following you. You will forever be BRK to us.
Oh stuff like this always makes my day a little bit better.
…I want a 350z.
A little part of me aged a couple of decades when Parker comments on a spark plug change as being ‘intense’. Back in my day, spark plug changes were routine maintenance and performed in 30 minutes or less. That they now have to be handled in the same manner as a head gasket replacement makes me feel very old.
I’ll be on the porch yelling at the neighbor kids. Please do stop by, and don’t forget your shaking cane.
And I was worried the brain posts stayed behind…glad to see you haven’t changed Daniel.
Still your faithful readers for life,
Kestrus and Revelin
Hey BigRed..aniel…
Love the Brain Blog. Guess he finally was able to get out and blog by himself now that you’re finding more time!
Hi Brain I missed you!!!
Hope Daniel listens to you more!!! ;P
C’mon, a perfect chance to break the engine and blame it on the vehicle’s ago to get that shiny 370z you saw shortly before your birthday.
An entertaining read, as always =)
Did Ego have a say in this?
I wouldn’t even know where to start with something like that! I’ve only just started realizing I can putter about with the insides of a computer and have it still work by the end of it. Usually.
Definitely happy to see a Brain post!
I laughed so hard- this is how I go about most of my projects as well XD
Good to hear it started though ^_^
Why not keep the ‘we’ thing outside of the Airman stories? It’s something you came to identify with and still do. Most everyone online has this sort of net persona they use. Yours is just tied to Hobbes & Brain. So even if your letting Hobbes take a nap, you clearly seperate your common sence and normal line of thought. So ‘we’ it up.
Ya brit sounding crazy car discombobulating nut. >D
Awesome! I missed these Brain posts. *Tear* Glad to see that they’re back. And what man doesn’t like randomly tinkering with his mechanical items and getting them (hopefully not) spoilt in the process? =D MAN NO NEED NO DURNED MANUAL!
*Chuckle*,
Brain is such an intelligent guy…erm…well…brain for that matter, regardless, your lucky to have him peaking over your shoulder from time to time.
this is why i loved my good old 1968 Fiat 600…
i could take the engine apart by removing 4 bolts. Also, everything was mechanical, none of that electronics mumbo jumbo.
I can tell the BigRedKitty is still in you. “Mrs. BRK” is the giveaway, and I’m glad to see you still haven’t completely left us high and dry.
Love the Brain post *thumbs up*
LOVE IT!
Reminds me of the time I agreed to change a friends water pump. Didn’t realize I had to remove the timing belt to get it. Told them it would take me a couple hours when it took all weekend. I guess the smaller they make the cars, the more you have to remove to get to it.
~Laz
Everything is going to be just fine.
Good to see Brain again. And haha, Mrs BRK still having that moniker is awesome. Very nice, Daniel.
Ah man, I love Brain/Daniel posts, they are so funny. Keep up the stellar job ;P
awesome! keep it up your writing/entertaining skills are obvious no matter the subject matter. love these new posts! im still cravin steak btw!!
Nope, I wouldn’t have even tried. See the key is to not even own the tools so there’s no temptation to fiddle around with things best left alone.
This reminds me of a teletype repairman (yes I’m that old and yes I was in the Army) we had way back when. He was supposted to do a PM (preventative maintenance) one one unit and came back with a bag full of screw, nuts and bolts and a very, very disasembled teletype. The civilian shift supervisor took one look and spit out his cigar. Thought he was gonna have a heart attack right there and then. They never did get that thing up and running aging.
And yay! to Mrs. BRK. and I vote to keep the “we”. Its just so “you”. If we’re voting that is. LoL!
BRAIN!
I had a similar situation trying to fix my Rock Band 2 Drum set. Its not broken… but I can’t get it back together… because it was designed to not be put back together without breaking it. I swear!
tehehehe, I love taking stuff apart and eventually put them back together but every times I look at my car I rather not. Give me something built pre-1980s and we got a deal, those were the simpler days. We love you Brian for keeping BR… err Daniel out of danger and to not Enra… err anger the Fiery Red Head.
Good Lord, Daniel, what were you thinking? Just coz you work for NASA doesn’t mean you can change the spark plugs on a 350Z; it’s not rocket surgery
Thank Goodness you brought the Brain vs. BRK (aka Daniel), main event to dphowell. I think these posts are great.
Glad you got the car running.
Call me foolish, but I simply cannot replace http://www.bigredkitty.net/ in my link bar with this site. I go there, and then link here… hoping to see more of Hobbs and the various animals.
It’s a fools dream, but… Never give up, and Never Surrender!
It occurs to me that you are almost required to call the Misses, Mrs. BRK. The obviously alternative, Mrs. Daniel, requires a level of sexism that would almost assuredly instigate a case of red-head rage in the afore mentioned Misses.
Oh Daniel,
That was priceless,,,, so glad to see a place for brain in your new blog.
Once again – you write a book we will buy it.
Yay for brain!
And even if you’re not in wow, you our still our BRK!
I stopped in january myself, jumping in as a social thing once a week or so to see people, but I think the recent changes made quite a few “hardcore” hunters question their motives for the game, And seeing you make the same choice as myself makes me feel a lot more secure in this decision.
Younglings are certainly a lot more important that purple pixels and dps meters
Hey I didn’t know you were into cars. I have a lot of respect for people who can fix their own. I’d love to see some pictures of it! If you’re thinking about putting more mods in there I highly suggest getting a ram intake and cat-back exhaust so the car can breathe better. I wouldn’t recommend a cold air intake tho. Knowing the weather in Florida you run a high risk of water getting in.
Good to see Brain again, and omg XD
Welcome to the world of “we want you to take your car to the garage for everything”
When you opened the bonnet and found it all compacted away and covered up was the first sign that they make cars now that they really dont want you messing with them.
I’ve got a Vauxhall Zafira that hasnt got an accelerator cable (black boxes everywhere) and they had to plug a computer into the car to see that the black box for the accelerator was full of crap. Cost to clean and repair £80, cost for a new black box, £350. Price of an accelerator cable ??? but a hell of a lot cheaper I guess.
My advice, listen to Brain, he seems like a clever chap
This is the only blog I have ever responded to. Man, that was funny. Great thing to read on a break at work. Keep up the good work giving Brain his/it’s space.