“Want to play a board game, Sammy?”
“All I have is Candyland and the board is missing, Daddy.”
OK, I have been a delinquent father; my son has no board games. He has a Wii, he plays on my computer, he has a pool, a dog, a cool bicycle, a Razor scooter, and the use of a 60” HD widescreen TV on which he watches Spongebob. But no board games. No Life, Risk, Hungry-Hungry Hippos. Nada.
My wife and I own Scrabble, though. It’s the deluxe version that has a plastic grid to hold tiles. Perhaps he’d like to play this?
“DADDY I LOVE SCRABBLE!”
He’s never even *seen* Scrabble.
We pop out the board – which is on a turntable; how smart I was to buy this! – on my bed, with the tiles and the wooden tile holders, discretely tossing the scorepad away.
“Here’s your seven tiles, and I’ll take seven…”
“DADDY! Is QUITZLY a word?”
I’m playing Scrabble with Bart Simpson.
“No, but let’s use the letter E on the board to make a word. Can you make a word with that E, and your M and N?”
“MEN!”
“Very good! Put the pieces on the board. Now, can you count your points?”
And a flurry of little finger-counting action later, “THREE!”
“That’s awesome, kid-o!”
“Do I get three pieces?”
“No.”
“How many do I get?”
“You used two pieces, so take two more.”
And he opened the bag and started searching, a clear violation of Scrabble rules.
“No, Sam-o, you can’t look in the bag.”
“But I need a U for my Q!”
My six year old knows his Q-rule. He may search the bag; I’m so proud.
“OK, you can look in the bag.”
“CAN I DUMP IT OUT!?”
Why do boys scream everything? And as long as I was letting him search the bag, it made sense to just dump it out on the bed.
“Yes, you may dump it out, just NOTONTHECAT!”
The cat ran. My son laughed. The dog barked. I sighed.
“OK, let’s use that E again. With your Q and your U, can you make a word with that E?”
“Um…”
“How about, queen?”
“QUEEN DADDY! I can make the word QUEEN!”
“Excellent! Now how many points is that?”
“FIVE!”
“No no, see the number on the letter Q? That’s worth ten points. Can you add all the points?”
My son is a furious finger-counter, and eventually…
“FOURTEEN POINTS! Am I winning?”
“Of course you’re winning.”
“I AM A WINNER AND YOU ARE NO-OT!”
“Be nice, Sammy.”
“OK. Can I have a drink, please?”
“Not on my bed.”
“BUT DADDY I’M SO THIRSTY!”
“Go get a drink in the kitchen and come back.”
“Ok.”
As he crashed the fridge in search of G2 – the boy likes weak Gatorade – I looked at his collection of tiles. All consonants. With the skill of a CIA spy master, I covertly swapped his Ks and Js for a few Es and As.
“DADDY DON’T TOUCH MY PIECES!”
“Sam, I’m giving you better pieces.”
“Is it my turn again?”
“Yes. See, I made the word CAR.”
“I WANNA MAKE THE WORD BOOGERS!”
Of course you do. “You don’t have two Os. How about you put a letter S on the end of the word car. What word is that?”
“CARS! That’s FOUR POINTS!”
“Very good!”
“Daddy, may I please have two pieces of raisin bread toast with butter and blueberry waffles with butter and syrup and a glass of milk?”
“It’s lunch-time, kid-o. Don’t you want lunch?”
“No thank you. I’d like raisin bread toast and waffles.”
“You may have either toast or waffles, but not both.”
“BUT I’M SO HUNGRY DADDY I’M GONNA DIE!”
“You’re not gonna die…”
“I’M SO HUNGRY!”
“Sam, I’m going to make you some waffles, but no toast. I want you to practice Scrabble, OK?”
“OK Daddy. Thank you.”
Waffles made and placed on the kitchen bar, I instructed my son that lunch – such as it is – was ready.
“DADDY COME SEE WHAT I DID! I MADE SQUARES!”
And sure enough, he had made three-letter words into 3×3 squares on the Scrabble board.
“That’s great! But AGT isn’t a word…”
“DADDY IT’S YOUR TURN!”
“Alright, now I’ll make…”
“THOSE ARE MY PIECES!”
“Well you *took* all my pieces. How is it supposed to be my turn if I don’t have pieces?”
And he began to think. The solution was, of course, simple.
“I’LL GO *FOR* YOU DADDY!”
“OK, what word are you going to make?”
“DeluxeScrabble.”
“Well, that’s two words…”
“TWO WORDS PUT TOGETHER IS A COMPOUND WORD DADDY!”
“A compound word is two words put together to make an entirely new word. Clubhouse is a compound word.”
“So is firehouse!”
“Very good!”
“And racetrack!”
“Excellent!”
“I’M GOING TO SPELL DELUXESCRABBLE DADDY! How do you spell deluxe?”
“D…”
“I’m hungry; I’m going to eat my waffles.”
“And Don’t take any Scrabble pieces with you.”
“AwwwWWW!”
As he ran to lunch, the Scrabble pieces fell on the floor; they were down his pants.
lol scrabble, wife beats me all the time thats why we don’t play it anymore…shhh
*smiles* awww :3
So this is how you spent your weekend with your son? Awesomeness ^_^
Your son and my sister-in-law have a very similar thought process. Seriously…it’s eerie.
Ah, can’t wait to have kids.
Mostly because I know that they’ll drive me up a wall and then I’ll find it funny later, such as this anecdote.
Very apt portrait of a 6 year old. Are you going to show him this when he’s old enough to understand?
really enjoy your stories man. very informative as brk and just witty and good now. God bless you and your family in this new chapter.
Rotfl!
Rotfl!
Rotfl!
Will you please re-tell the first trip to the movies? PLEASE?!!??!?!
heh, could have been worse.. the little roman numeral peices of risk left lying in the carpet for unaware feet in the middle of the night would make for a good blog post..
You know what you should have made him for lunch?
A toasted Blueberry (& syrup) Waffle sandwich, using Raisin Bread toast, of course
Been there, done that (still doing that).
You’ll look back on this post and wonder why you thought this was hard in a few years. Anyway, you’re building character (yours or Sam’s – I have no idea). Good luck with the sanity.
Dear Daniel (mister Howell?),
Thank you for this, great story, made me happy.
Hahaha good story
Why do I get the feeling that a game of Scrabble with your son plays out very much like a game of Scrabble with TJ would play?
Hehe. Things like these build character for him, and patience for you. I admire your parenting skills, I would’ve been at a loss for words…
…Down his pants, eh?
LOL! Hope you find all the pieces!
Nice style of writing. Even though i dont really like the stories of my kids stuff, it was really entertaining. I lol’d. Good job.
Oh for the love of all that is gaming… do a favor for yourself and for your son, (who I’m sure had fun just because he was playing with YOU)….
There is a whole world out there beyond Life, Risk, or Hungry-Hungry Hippos. The best place to learn about this world is http://www.boardgamegeek.com…. but for a few kid specific links…
http://www.thedicetower.com/thedicetower/index.php/top_ten_lists/our_kids_favorite_games
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/geeklist/41624
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/geeklist/40473
Hopefully next time I read about you playing a board game with your son/family the game will be something more fitting for your son and enjoyable for you.
(Sorry if my Geekyness just came out… but it pains me to see so many people playing the games hasbro has to offer when there are such better ones out there, if you just know where to look.)
Kwyjibo!
Whahaha! He’s just like my nephew!
Like a mini version of Katrina (the storm) but then… It lasts longer…
Have fun! And good luck with him!
Nice…I want grandchildren, Dogs just aren’t enough.
Looks like life without WoW is working for you! /cheer for dan!! RL for the win
Your son is simply amazing Daniel.
@Skraps: I happen to play scrabble very well!
When I want to. Which I never do. Because that game is STUPID and the rules are STUPID and words are STUPID and spelling is STUPID and that makes the game nearly impossible.
Of course.
hey, how’d my kid get to your house, lol!!!!
This is Exactly the kind of thing I can easily see my daughter (7) doing…
“I WANNA MAKE THE WORD BOOGERS!” That made me laugh, really it did. Things that go through a six year old’s mind can be amusing.
Sounds like you have a future card-shark on your hands, stuffing pieces down his pants! Don’t teach him poker.
Q-U rule nothing… that kid knows compound words!!
I don’t like children. I have no patience for them (a flaw), so I have respect for those people who can act calmly around them like you.
i never thought scrabble could be so amusing
LOL is appropriate when its legit.
I can’t wait for my 3 year old to start spelling so we can scatter that game too.
Oh, and LOL @ TJ too! Now, how many points do you get for STUPID?
“All I have is Candyland and the board is missing, Daddy.”
O_o
One can only imagine what could happen to an entire Candyland board to make it disappear.
LOL. You gave me an early morning smile. Thanks!
not really a fan of scrabble but that version sounded like on heck of a time…its the little things in life ya know? waffles for lunch…love for the word boogers…and scrabble pieces in u pants. life used to be so simple eh?
oh and unfortunately i know exactly what the person who posted about risk pieces lurking in the carpet and invading unaware feet was talking about Xo(
Lol your son is adorable. If this is what I have to look forward to (the boss and I are getting married this july 11th and shes allready talking about kids… PLURAL!) im pretty sure I could get used to it
You seem like such an awesome dad. Now I see what a boy raised by a single mom misses out on
My father was a putz.
fantastic story matey – have a 1.5 yr old boy myself and can’t wait to start the Scrabble days
beats WoW any day doesn’t it
The joy’s of fatherhood! It gets better too. Well, that is until they reach their teens and its all downhill from there!!
Bigguss (proud father)
Hehehe i used to play that game my mom to much into it if we get going and gets really mad if she loses she trys to combine big words for lots of points while i go in and try to get in small words and lland on a triple letter or triple word score.
Now that we are in the age of the Wii and Razor Scooters, board games are becoming a thing of the past.
My 6 yo daughter and I love playing Monopoly Junior. We even let my 4 yo son join insometimes too. But as you know, the attention span is that of a goldfish.
http://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-0441-S5-Monopoly-Edition/dp/B00000IWD2
Check it out, you might get hooked!
~Laz
You seriously made me laugh out loud Daniel. =) Good story, glad everything is going great for you!
Stories like this make me want to be a parent so bad. Here’s to trying! *cheers*
/Awesome…….
This post made me smile from ear to ear. We need more Daniel/Sammy moments. Which makes me wonder… was Sammy like you, when you were a kid?
Playing games with the kids…I can’t wait for the day my daughter is old enough to play something like Life or Monopoly. Although, I do tend to rage at Monopoly. Hmm…
My daughter is a year older than your son, and is very similar… She’ll change the rules to suit her and want food or drink in the middle of things, and come up with a reason to justify it all…
Kids are amazing..
To quote Fat Tony: “It’s funny, ’cause it’s true!”
With a 6, 5, and 1 year old I can relate. I stopped arguing over what to eat when long ago. As long as they eat and it is healthy, it’s fine by me. Pancakes and sausage for dinner? SURE! Grilled cheese for breakfast? Why not! Chocolate cake for lunch? Mmmm, not so much.
Keep up the great work.
Skarlarth and Co.
*giggles* Too funny.
I hope when I become a parent I can be as patient as it sounds you were. (I had to show this to my mom, which started all those embarrassing stories.)
Though seriously, you need to get that boy something like Connect Four, Sorry, or Hungry, Hungry Hippos. *grins*
Well done Daniel, you are the most patient man I know! Sammy will appreciate this time you spend with him when he is older. You are a good Dad
Awesome job with scrabble! Although those are great games and my son loves his hungry hungry hippos, his five-year-old brain is wanting to play battleship now..a present from santa. He’s enjoying the fact that we can blow each others ships up..of course he likes looking at where all my ships are placed and pointing at one of them to tell me where he wants to hit lol And I’ve even gotten him into Warhammer 40k (not quite a board game, but it works!)
Why is everyone laughing? My boys are 4 and 6, that’s probably a nearly exact transcript of the evening.
Except you forgot the part when your boy is eating and the dog’s singled minded mission is to steal any part of the lunch possible.
Or the bathroom break.
Kids are great, the most important thing I learned is that they don’t really care what you do as long as you do it with them.
Was browsing pundit.com and thought you would findthis one funny.
‘ello,
First time commenting here or from BRK…..been lurking…. it’s what lizards do……
Of course all of us giggling!
Great lil story…..I have 2 older step boys (in my heart they be mine now, muhahahahah)….and a 2.2 year old clone. It has been an adventure with the lil one….he just now throw phrases together….ie: my wife and I put him betwixt us to help knock him out ast night…..I was just climbing into bed…and say to him ” scoot!…move over!”….he looks at me and says “No! You go!”…..as I scooch in next to him… ” You go!…Get out!” ….my wife and couldn’t believe our ears!! First time he ever said such things….I almost fell over laughing!! So I scooched in and we ciddle/smothered him!!!
Lol, just wanted to share back jest a lil….my older boys are both into WoW and the occasional board game….which is difficult for me to “let ” them win…hehehe. Family is where its at…..Kudos to you and yours!
BTW….I have a Tall Red Head for my lovely mate…..I am totally with you in your experiences in matrimony!
Keep up the GREAT writing Daniel Howell !!!
Gekkoracing