Today is my last day of actual Work at NASA. We’re launching a moon probe tonight, and with the bad luck we’ve had with the Shuttle, I really would like my last day of Work to be really cool. Perhaps you can help me figure out what actions I should take, and which I should probably leave on the idea-room floor.
Ready?
Question 1. What is the best attire to sport at my last rocket launch at NASA?
A. Shirt and Tie.
B. Transformers pajamas, bottoms only.
C. Top hat, cape, cane, and spats.
D. T-shirt emblazoned with “North Korea on the Moon, 2015!”
Question 2. What parting words should I deliver to my boss on the way the door of my last day at work at NASA?
A. “Great working with you.”
B. “Here’s a coupon for the Right Guard we always talked about.”
C. “May the fleas of 1000 camels infest your nether regions.”
D. ”I wouldn’t use your “lucky pen” ever again, if I were you,” and stumble out the door like a bowlegged cowboy.
Question 3. What’s the largest piece of government equipment I can remove from my facility as I depart for the last time?
A. DoD desk calendar.
B. Pillowcase full of office supplies.
C. The cobbled-from-broken-parts “Chair of the Generals” that I built that reclines 92 degrees.
D. Enough classified material to buy a 2009 Porsche Cayman.
Question 4. What do I leave behind at NASA for everybody to find on the first day I’m truly gone from the office?
A. Written limerick making fun of management.
B. Eight years of meeting notes and a scrawled, “I never did any of this!” on the top page.
C. A garbage bag filled with wet paper towels labeled, “Who knew he’d stay moist for two years…”
D. A department-wide email saying, “Got all your resumes, I’ll let you know when the interviews are starting!”
Question 5. Burning bridges with my old employer is never a good thing. To prevent this, I should:
A. Send a quick Thank You Note to my supervisor.
B. Forward all the work I’ve been sitting on for the past three months to my coworkers, telling them they now have a opportunity to get that performance-raise they’ve been complaining about all year.
C. Find my CEO on Facebook, hire a college student with too much time and knowledge for his own good, and let him hack that baby to h3ll and back.
D. Hire TJ to write a fictional tell-all about NASA, self-publish it, sell millions, get on Geraldo, deny NASA’s claims of breach-of-contract, hire OJ’s attorney – yes I know he’s dead – to get the case to the Supreme Court, recant like a mo-fo’, accept a cash fine in lieu of jail time, retire, pen my “I Kicked NASA’s @SS in Court” biography, and chuckle quietly to myself as NASA spends the remainder of its 2010 budget fighting to prevent publication.
1. C – top hats are always a good idea.
2. C – i read that camels are sign of luck. You wish your ex-boss all of luck, don’t you?
3. D – If I want a Porsche Cayman, I fail to see how you wouldn’t.
4. ABCD – it’s best to maximize your chances for a lasting impression.
5. D – sounds like a great idea to live a life of a celeb.
1 C
2 A
3 C
4 A
5 B
hahah soo good.
Hope you enjoyed your last day at NASA !
1C
2D
3C
4D
5C
NASA has money left in their 2010 budget? Who knew?
1B
2B
3C
4D
5D
I love the blog Dan, your writing always manages to bring a smile to my face
1 B
2 B
3 D
4 D
5 A
Good luck with the last day, may the force be with you.
1. B
2. D
3. C
4. B
5. D
These are trick questions, right? I keep getting D as the answer.
1. Combine A and B together. Shows as a normal outfit while sitting down and a surprise while standing.
1) C
2) D
3) C
4) B
5) B
1.) C
2.) B
3.) D
4.) B
5.) D
Good luck with the new job man!
Hmm, loved the answers here.
I keep leaning towards D for them all, but that’s jsut me, and in all honesty I would probably be one of those boring A-list people IRL.
However, for your final act, I can think of nothing better than a prank pulled by an ex-co-worker who came in their last day, and stashed those frozen cocktail shrimp in the hidden seams of the office chairs, and the back of file cabinet-desk he used.
Nothing happened for about a week, and he was long gone….
Then, it got really stinky all the sudden, from no apparent direction.
1) B
2) D
3) B
4) A
5) C
But most of all:
Have fun!
Have a great time with the launch! LRO is very close to my heart get her up safely!
1) C
2) B
3) D
4) B
5) B
1. B
2. D
3. C
4. A
5. C
And don’t forget to do the Half-Baked, ‘fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you, i’m out!’ as you walk out!
Question 1.
C. Top hat, cape, cane, and spats.
Question 2.
A. “Great working with you.”
But I realy want to see…”I wouldn’t use your “lucky pen” ever again, if I were you,” and stumble out the door like a bowlegged cowboy.
Question 3.
B. Pillowcase full of office supplies. Try to make it all stuff with letterhead, then maybe you can eBay it for that Porsche
Question 4.
D. A department-wide email saying, “Got all your resumes, I’ll let you know when the interviews are starting!”
Question 5.
C. Find my CEO on Facebook, hire a college student with too much time and knowledge for his own good, and let him hack that baby to h3ll and back.
1 c
2 b
3 c
4 a
5 a
1A — Only if you look like you stepped out of a 1960′s Apollo moon launch. Remember the nerd glasses with the tape on the bridge!
2A — Always go out with class even if you would gladly and enthusiastically help your boss into a garbage scow with a one-way ticket to Fresh Kills.
3C — You built it. You need it to apply for the Patent.
4A — As long as it’s in the lunchroom or on one of the bathroom stalls and written with your non-dominant hand.
5A — And then follow up with 4B copying 5B.
1. I think a set of Jiffylube overalls, a 24″ Monkey Wrench, a 4 lb Lump Hammer and a large oily rag would probably be best
2. A + B + D
3. C No question you built it out of scrap you get to keep it, besides what else is going to happen to it otherwise?
4. Use many cans of spray cobweb to make it look like the drawers and filing cabinets haven’t been opened the entire time you’ve been there.
5. Boring old A I’m afraid.
1. C
2. A.. you did note it yourself, about burning bridges, even if the others are much more fun.
3. C, definitely C
4. B
5. D, hands down, easily! ::chuckling::
I suggest that you leave your old office phone number scrawled on the wall of every men’s room in town. “For an exceedingly good time call…”
D for all of them…
1: C
2: B
3: A
4: A AND D
5: A (Yeah, I’m boring too)
And if you do dress up in C: Screenshots or it didn’t happen!
There’s no way that “what I’ll do on my last day of work” and this (http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20090618/sc_space/nasainvestigatesremotepossibilityofshuttlesabotage) are related–right?
Daniel, you are a real laugh a minute. I was so saddened by your Wow departure, even more sorry about your real life woes, but absolutely delighted that you haven’t lost your sense of humor.
The very best of luck to you in your new venture from one of your Aussie fans.
‘In Your Dreams’ answers -
1. B
2. C
3. C
4. D
5. B
‘In reality’ answers -
1 – 5 – A
C, A, A, D, A,
1- B just because it would be funny and they would remember you.
2- D but say it when your walking out the door almost in the parking lot.
3- C, HELLO! a chair that leans back 92 degrees, thats almost worth a Cayman and allot less risky
4- B Was that even a question
5- B only send it to that one guy you hate at your work (theirs always the one.)
By the way a few days later send your boss a new pen.
OMFG.
The camels and the fleas!
/roll-around-and-laugh
1 D
2 D
3 All of they above
4 D
5C and D
I Lol’ed so hard reading this….actually shook and inside laughed so hard since if I sincerely lol’ed as I’d like to then I’d wake the whole hut.