Hey Brain?
Yes Daniel?
There’s a small puddle of goo on the tile right outside your bedroom door.
Goo? Describe it.
Clear. More gelatinous than water. Pooled in a circular formation, approximately six inches in diameter.
It’s probably dog vomit.
Not from the cat?
The cat prefers to vomit on the really good carpet, or your bed.
Good call. Brain, I’m very busy right now; I can’t stop to clean that up. I need you to remember that I have to clean that up later.
Clean what up?
The vomit.
What vomit?
The clear goo on the floor you identified as dog vomit!
Hey! There’s clear goo on the floor. You gonna clean it up now?
Brain, listen. Remind me later to clean up the dog vomit or someone could slip in it.
Roger wilco, Daniel!
(Twenty minutes later…)
BOOM!
Hey Daniel! Did you hear that boom?
Yes.
KAPOW!
Hey Daniel! Did you hear that kapow?
Yes. I hope its the cat.
SIZZLE…
Hey Daniel! Still hope it’s the cat?
I should check it out, shouldn’t I?
Being a responsible parent and homeowner demands it.
Fine, Brain. I’m a-checkin’ it.
(SLIP! Bend 2nd toe on left foot way, way, WAY back.)
BRAIN!
Yo, Daniel. What’s up with tall the pain receptors firing? It’s noisier than h3ll up here.
My toe! Ow ow ow! I think it’s broken!
How’d ya let that happen? You slip on something?
YES! The goo! You were supposed to remind me to clean up the dog vomit!
I was? Since when? Hey! You should do something about this toe-situation. It’s growing like red and purple bamboo.
I hate you Brain.
Hey Daniel! I smell magic smoke! You know what happens to electronics when you let the magic smoke out, right? The electronic equipment never works without its magic smoke.
I can see it, Brain. The dishwasher has no more magic smoke. Just awesome, exactly what I needed in my life right now…
Well, at least the smokey, electronic haze in the kitchen covers up the pungent dog-vomit odor. That’s good, right?
You’re the least useful part of my body, Brain. The most expensive and least useful.
These are some of my favorites, good stuff =P.
LMAO
So funny!!
By the way, you have some freeky looking toes there Daniel!! Its not natural to have 3 of your toes bigger than your “big” toe. Or is the fact they are gigantic a result of your stubbage?
Bigg
So, now that you are no longer with NASA, when are we going to be getting the Airman Howell equivalent of NASA stories? Or did they put you under a 3-year gag order?
Oh you poor man! Though I know the feeling, I’m missing a chuck of my hand lost to that screw that was not all the way in on our stair rail trying to get to the bathroom with a towel in time to keep the water that should have been in The Girl’s bath and was now running into the basement from flooding the litter boxes.
Ah, Magic Smoke. Awesome.
Sorry for the toe. And the dishwasher. Pisser.
Good ole Brain.
not to laugh at your misfortune, but that was funny
Sounds like you, brain, the dog, and the puddle need to /roll for blame
Ah, Daniel, toes make such INTENSE pain!! Somehow I dont think it was funny at the time, but you sure turned it into something to laugh at!
Hope the dishwasher isnt too expensive a repair.
@Bigguss
Looking at my feet…two of my toes are longer than the ‘big toe’. The first one is much longer! It’s…a sign of intelligence, yah, that’s it…
Very humorous story. It is always fun figuring out which critter left such pleasant gifts…
Sorry about your toes. But I was glad to know that someone else’s cat prefers vomiting on the bed or carpet than on the vinyl flooring. Nothing like waking up in the middle to the night to that sound.
Look at your dishwasher this way though. You have the opportunity to buy a NEW dishwasher with water saving technology and maybe even get one of those cool ones that are two drawer dishwashers so that you can have a little load going and then have another load for dirty dishes accumulating. You probably could get one that you don’t have to practically pre-wash your dishes before putting them in. I want a new dishwasher….
Hmmm Brain seemed a little slow and not performing up to usual standard. Might be time to see about outsourcing his role. That or circulate a rumor that his position is in danger. Might increase performance.
Moral of the story: Never put off cleaning up the vomit.. it will bite you in the ass. Not sure how the dishwasher works into that..
In the time spent researching new dishwashers, you could always hire a french maid to help with the um, washing……..
Sorry about the toe.
Pretty nice post. I just came by your site and wanted to say
that I have really enjoyed reading your posts. Anyway
I’ll be subscribing to your blog and I hope you post again soon!
Laughed out loud when I read this, Brain stories FTW!
I must say tho Daniel, those seem like proper monkey toes to me, maybe we are built differently here in Scotland but those are some of the longest toes I have ever seen!!!
I believe from my running days that it’s known as Morton’s Toe – causes all sorts of problems with runners and their footwear!
@Ianjambo
lol @ Monkey toes
Perhaps its a US thing? What do you guys in the US say then, are they normal length toes??
oh, man… this blog has me checking out my toe height???
::shaking head as I observe my 2nd toe is indeed, as tall as the first, and the middle is only a little shorter than that, but that there is a definite decrease after that::
@Bigguss
As a US-er, I’d say they on the large side. One or two toes being about the same length seems to be common. Three of them, however, is just plan crazy. Personally, I don’t have toes; I have stubblets. If I put my feet together, they form a nice little bell curve graph.
Look on the bright side though. Longer toes should grant more stability. Well… when you aren’t walking in dog vomit, anyway.
I wonder how many people whipped their shoes off and checked their toes after reading this post?
I certainly checked mine out last night and mine seem to be about the same as Daniels. Then again, i have been called Sasquatch in the past.