So I work FOR Company X. They pay my salary, I fill out a time sheet for them, they provide me with benefits, etc.
But I work AT Company Y. My boss is there, the projects are there, the computer lab is there, my coffee maker is there. When I was applying for this job, I interviewed with three people at Company Y and only talked to the recruiter for Company X. My new laptop was issued by Company Y. I am getting a Company Y security badge. Everything about me is Company Y, except for the fact that I am employed by Company X.
Until yesterday I had only visited Company X once, which was to fill out my employment paperwork. But yesterday I had a meeting there. I was introduced to my project manager, some of the engineers and programmers who work at Company X, and got a taste of the corporate culture.
I wish I worked AT Company X, too, instead of just FOR them. I had been wondering if I was getting the shaft, not working for Company Y. Now I’m pretty sure that I’m really quite lucky to only subcontract for Company Y. I need more time to make that analysis more definite, but there’s one thing that is sure: Company X has a rocking office.
Without going into all the differences between the work locations in detail, how about I just…
Top Ten Things My New Office Could Really Use
10. BBQ Pit. People bring in donuts on Thursdays. Let’s rock that and go with some southern BBQ every Wednesday for lunch.
9. Raised floor in the computer lab. Who decided to put 10,000 computers on a carpeted floor laid over a concrete slab with the air ducts twenty feet off the ground?
8. New office furniture. C’mon, don’t we deserve something made this century? We’re here nine hours a day. Give us some dignity! My desk has stains, for pete’s sake.
7. Fully stocked coffee bar. With munchies and leather chairs. And a plasma TV tuned to ESPN.
6. Bluetooth stereo headphones. My iPhone cord wraps around my neck and gets all crazy with my ears. If the place is not going to have any character at all, gimme my Cone of Silence.
5. More walls. I only have one, I demand more. There’s a pile of old cardboard Dell boxes that have a better office than I do.
4. Windows. Not on my computer, but something through which I can see the pretty grounds of this technology park.
3. Covered parking spaces. My poor 350Z has had the beejuzes beat out of it, first with 108,000 miles in four years, now with 125-degree temps and no sea-breeze to cool the thing down.
2. More job openings so I can get some of my old work buddies and buddiettes here. While the work-hours out there were horrible, the people rocked. I miss ‘em a lot.
1. A perpetually drunk coworker. It is so quiet here! It’s too quiet. It’s insane how quiet it is. I’ve been in more lively libraries than this place. Every time I talk on the phone I feel like I’m yelling to the entire building. A loud, annoying coworker would really give the atmosphere the kick in the pants it needs. A drunk coworker or TJ. So sayeth Daniel, so let it be done.
hahah welcome to the real working world
I’m extremely calm.
I will offer to be your crazy coworker. Gimme some Jolt and few Penguin Mints, and you’ll have a new office sitcom on your hands.
I suggest *borrowing* some stuff from company X.
LoL at TJ…
Um ok
I once worked for a place that allowed us to request PO’s for office stuff. I ordered a new desk and chair and charged it to the office leads po
. Maybe you should “convince” the office manager to purchase you a new chair and desk 
.
For such a skinny man you sure talk about snacks and munchies alot
Bringing in your old co-workers will help. In my government office right now we..
The Short Angry Elf. Prone to headaches from old battle wounds suffered from falling out of a helicopter in Iraq (although we are conviced he was pushed) he is always mad about something and lets everyone know but will shut up and be quiet the rest of the day if confronted.
The Loud Fat Guy. Soon to be our new boss he is loud and always has to have noise (i.e. TV or Radio), has an opinion about everything, is from a small town and has a small town philosophy of “Mamma Stugatz, we’re surrounded by fu*&^%ng idiots and old people!”
The Lounger. Never getting upset about anything, or interested or anxious or excited. One speed and god help you if you ask for more he’ll take a day or two off “Just to show you how much I carry the office, you bastards!” Has a compunction to farting in fans and making the “Fat Guy” retch.
The Indian. He just happens to be an Indian “Native American” variety and come 2:30 *poof* he throws the ninja smoke and is gone. Never around when the crap work needs to be done but god help you if there’s OT to be made and you get in his way you will regret it. Free stuff about, he’ll take it! You’ll prolly see it on e-bay within a week.
The Philospher. (Moi) Has a thought about everything, is right about 75% of the time but will never concede he is wrong. Doesn’t get excited very often but when he does it usually sounds like a sailor who’s girlfriend was caught with another man. Not the kind of person you want answering the phones, because if it’s a stupid call or person on the other end he may very well tell them exactly that.
The Bossman. Calm, cool and collected. Keeps Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum (i.e. the two big bosses) at bay by doing what they ask and smiling a lot. Hates to ask his underlings to do crap work because he was once an underling and hated doing it himself. Listens to all the underlings complain, bitch and moan and then makes them feel better by telling them they are right and “we’ll see what we can do about getting that fixed.” Never complains about the foul language the underlings use or the fact that the “Lounger” gets called gay all the time even though he has a wife and 3 kids.
So there ya go Dan, that’s the kind of office you need to pass the day. Throw in a lot of Mountain Dew, some raunchy e-mails and totally innapropriate music and you are good to go!
lol it doesn’t matter who you use it on I promise you this will work!
Redbull + Espresso +3 foot tube of pucker powder = Psychopath coworker for the day… the only side effect for you is a headache (maybe), but the victim will not be as lucky when the sugar rush is over
I worked for Northrop Grumman but my office was on Tobyhanna Army Depot which is predominantly GS employees and I felt the same way, now I am a GS but I am in TX.
I know you don’t want to say which companies you work for but I really am curious to see if you got a contract job or if you are a GS, because it still sounds like the govt has their claws in you either directly or indirectly.
Speaking of having dignity with the furniture, I’ve been in that situation before. Hell, I’ve been in situations (last year) where they refused to upgrade from Windows 95. They expected me to use Dreamweaver and Photoshop on centuries old (exaggeration) computers.
@TJ – You might be calm, but his point was that you’ll give the workplace the kick in the pants it needs X-D
@Dan – If anyone can make that kind of work environment exciting, its you. Just put your boss’s car on the roof or something small like that for starters.
I used to be a contractor with my own Company X, but working at Company Y (which was located on a military base, which brought about its own odd mix of other issues). Company Y was okay, Company X was awful though. Sounds like you’ve got a pretty nice setup with both companies being pretty good.
Use your initiative man, take those dell boxes and build yourself a wall, I wouldnt recommend using cement though, maybe a few bits of tape here and there.
Welcome to the wonderful world of consulting.
I’m currently working at the home office for a R&D project so its great fun. The fun part is that while your at company Y for now you won’t be there forever, at some point you’ll move to A, B and so on.
You’ll quickly realize that consulting is kinda like slavework. You’ll always get the worst place, the worst chair , etc…. I’ve worked in trailer park homes in winter with nothing but small heaters we brougt ourselves to warm us up. Only because the offices where all occupied. There was also working in a boiler room, under stairs, not having a computer, etc…
The only reason they don’t whip us or put us in irons is because they have to maintain the illusion of abiding the law.
My last office was in a building that was built with a bomb shelter under it. When they took some (not all) of the asbestos out of the walls, they didn’t bother to have any of us leave the building for the day, just hung up some plastic sheets and said “don’t go down this hallway today.” My furniture was from the surplus department. I was lucky in that I only had one broken drawer on my desk that was older than I am. Now, I’m back in another building that is cube furniture (the cubes were bought in the 1980s). I miss my old office, including the asbestos and the black mold on the ceilings. At least I had a door and a window in the old place. Now, I use addons for my igoogle home page to see pictures of the outside.
I agree with Buggrit. Dell boxes make great building blocks. While I was still interning, I was in charge of preping over 90 new Dell laptops. Since we had limited space, I stacked the empty boxes around my cube. By the time I was done, I had a nearly impregnable wall with a door just big enough for me to scoot through. I bet duct tape would have made it truly impregnable.
Woohoo just got back from an interview today, from July 20th I have job! IT tech support, and get this. I have an office with 4, yes, thats right, 4 walls.
and it is a bit cupboard like, but it’ll be mine I tell ya.
No windows though
Nice desk, need to negotiate a chair too but if nothing comes of that I can lean against any of my 4 walls, keep us updated eh mr 1 wall
Perhaps you could allow your new e-mail addy to fall into the hands of some awsome ponytailed demonic type person. Could give lessons on life without walls and how to deal with the inevitable intruder.
I have frequented your posts before. The more I visit, the more I keep coming back!