Daniel, I don’t wanna watch Obi-Won Kenobi run around with Scarlett Johansson if they’re not gonna get frisky.
Brain, shut up. It’s not that bad a movie.
It’s horrible, Daniel. I don’t like to invoke His name, but this is truly God Awful.
Brain, behave.
CMON OBI-WON! Use the Force and get ‘er naked!
Brain! Behave!
Do you realize just how colossally bad this is? This is a new level of terrible. He’s missing a left shoe. He can’t eat bacon. Ergo, his universe HAS to be a fake. I’m gonna wretch.
Scarlett’s lips are as plump as ever though.
There are only two things worth watching in this movie, and those are they. Scarlett is in a d@mn fight-scene and not a single wobble worth mentioning. OBI-WON! SHE’S IN A SKIN-TIGHT LEOTARD! CAN’T YOU MAKE ANYTHING RISE UP LIKE A LIGHT SABER, YOU NINCOMPOOP?! Dude was in the best fight scene in all of the Star Wars movies, and now he’s letting Scarlett run around untouched. It’s a catastrophe. I’m ruined.
The guy escaping from having his liver removed was riveting, Brain.
I wish I had had a nice Chianti and some fava beans, Daniel. I’m totally rooting for the evil bio-corp guy.
Brain!
Five million bucks to live to a quality-150? If I could afford it, I’d buy one, so would you. OBI-WON! DO HER! THERE IS NO TRY!
That was Luke, not Obi-Won.
My point is valid; she’s one of the most bedable women on the planet and he’s…
He’s what?
Hold on. Black bra. Scarlett and a black bra. Now we see where the budget-money went. OBI-WON! DUAL WIELD THOSE THINGS! YOU SAW GENERAL GRIEVOUS DO IT!
Annnnd… It’s over.
Over? Scarlett is over?
Yup.
But there was just a hint of… and then NOTHING?
We’re in a car chase now, catch up. $500,000 Cadillac and flying motorcycles, Brain.
Didn’t we see a bunch of 2002 Chrysler 300Cs in the same scene with that 2019 Caddy?
Apparently Hemis last a lotta years, Brain.
You mean these people have a choice between a flying, jet-powered motorcycle, and a 16 year old sedan… and for some people the sedan won? Who wouldn’t sell their own mother to get a flying motorcycle? This movie is pure tripe. I’m disgusted. Turn it off.
We have to watch the whole thing; we got it in the mail from Netflix and I’m watching it all.
We don’t have to. Shut it off. Put something better on. Isn’t there a 24-hour info-mercial channel now? Where’s the d@mn remote?
No. We’re watching and…
{laptop computer freezes}
What happened, Brain?
The DVD is scratched! Hallelujah! It won’t play! We don’t have to watch the whole {expletive deleted} {two} thing!
You know that Scarlett probably celebrates finding The Island with a bikini-mambo tribute to New Orleans, right?
We’ll never know, Daniel. We’ll just never know. Where’s the remote? I wanna watch the commercial for Rosetta Stone. That chick in the hot-purple blouse is totally hot
roflmao!!!!
Is it because i’m English? Or did half of that make no sense at all?
It’s good to see Brain back in action!
The only half-decent element of The Island is the back-and-forth Spartacus spiel… “I’m Tom Lincoln!”
I’m english, I didnt get half of it either!
That said, did you know, fact fans, that SJ was not happy about wearing that black bra in that scene? Because of course, outside American movies, people don’t tend to keep bras on during such activity but the director insisted to get the rating? Sigh.
Yay! Brain is back! I totally agree with Brain on this, though. Sorry Daniel, the Island is one of those movies that TOTALLY, uh, stinks.
“OBI-WON! DO HER! THERE IS NO TRY!”
Pure Win.
I snorted here in my cube at work IRL.
Skarlarth and Co.
Medivh
You know… Brain amazes me sometimes… going from “calculating interest,” telling you that you cant have a convertible and “tracked the f12 key as it arced behind the desk” to “get ‘er naked!” and “rise up like a lightsaber, you nincompoop!” What an amazing range…
::grinning and chuckling::
Um…I actually kind of liked that movie. Not Oscar worthy mind you, but for mind numbing entertainment it wasn’t too terrible.
Yes the rosseta stone chick is hot! they also pray that you order while watching her talk and don’t happen to notice the $250 price tag attached to the software :s
Totally with you, dude.
It gets worse, in fact.
http://www.slashfilm.com/article.php?story=20061017scarlettjohansson
You can blame Michael Bay.
Stupid PG-13 ratings.
“OBI-WON! DUAL WIELD THOSE THINGS! YOU SAW GENERAL GRIEVOUS DO IT!”
Ha. Brain is a little off his rocker today, I presume?
“God gave man a penis and a brain. And only enough blood to run one at a time. .” Robin Williams
lol
ya the product placement in the movie annoyed me.
Ah Brain, sounds like you need some entertainment. At least you weren’t watching The Watchmen then Brain would go totally nuts.
BRK, I’m listening to the WoW.com 100th podcast and the Ustream page is alive with tribute to you! We all miss you
Oh and they also just played back your rap on the WoWInsider song. Amazing! The viewers are going nuts!
I popped on and said Hello.
I saw that! Thanks a bunch for popping in BRK! Someone just attributed the drop in hunter population to your absence, and in all honesty I think that you definitely played a part in that! Hahahahaha. Thanks so much for everything you’ve done.
You sure took your time bringing back the sole reason anyone reads your blog (joking), Great to see brain back, have not seen that movie but it sounds like crap.
My brother and I watched that film. SJ was the only good thing about it tbh lol /drool
Wow. Michael Bay is out of the Man Club for that!