Men are scanning you, ladies. All of you. All of us. Perpetually.
There is a difference between scanning and leering, and we men know that. Most men are capable of not leering most of the time, but we all scan. This scan even has a name:
The Yes-No-Yes.
We scan you in three separate data-points: face/hair, chest/torso, and bottom/legs. Each section gets a Yes or No, depending upon how… well, appealing we find that data-point.
Notice I am not going to argue that this is sane, kind, beneficial, or even worthwhile. But it is a fact that we males do this. All the time, to every woman we meet, even our spouses and girlfriends.
Of course the definition of a Yes is personal to each male; one man’s Yes us another man’s No. But we are all scanning, all the time. If you are scanned as a Yes-No-Yes at 8am by coworker X, that same coworker X will take another scan at 10am, noon, 2pm, and right before you go home. Every day.
The Triple-Yes woman is not as rare as you’d think. There are different degrees of Yes, but a Yes is a Yes, and as long as a basic Yes has been achieved, it’s all good.
If you ever see a man squinting a woman, he’s in the middle of a Yes-No Quandary. Is that a Yes? A No? Hey Chester, check out your 3 o’clock and tell me what you think. Yes? Yeah, I agree. Maybe it’s the lighting that’s making it hard to tell.
Clothing can affect the Yes/No Decision. Good jeans? A No becomes a Yes. Wrong sweater? Your typical Yes becomes a No.
You can be our boss, you can own the company, you can hold our career in your perfectly manicured fingers, and we’re still going to scan you as you start our pink-slip paperwork.
Your age has no effect upon the Yes/No Decision. The scan happens before we wonder about age, on either end of the age-ruler. The 16 year old daughter of our best friend across the street as she comes over to babysit? Not our fault, but yes. Hillary Clinton and her pantsuits? Every time.
Yes, sometimes we disgust even ourselves, don’t we fellas.
Your attitude has no effect upon the Yes/No Decision. The Shrew-Princess Coefficient is a totally different subject.
Being with a bunch of Yes-No-No girlfriends will not change a man’s mind who scans you as a No-Yes-Yes. Camouflage is not effective.
Your speech-pattern has no effect on your Yes-No-Yes scan.
Neither does your bank account.
Men are pigs.
I’m a pig.
…
Like I’m gonna deny it? I’m a pig; not stupid.
Now go ask your male significant other, friend, brother, father, etc. if what I’m saying is true. And when he nods nonchalantly and says yes, he scans every woman every time he sees her, gives her the Yes-No-Yes, and doesn’t know why you’re making such a big deal about it, don’t hit him too hard.
Guilty as charged Daniel. Guilty as charged. lol
Its like we can’t help ourselves, and if there was a good scan then the second scan comes as soon as possible while trying to be nonchalant. I feel bad even admitting to it, but at least I’m not lying.
I’ll throw a little resistance out there, but not much.
Does every woman get scanned? Pretty much.
But, I don’t scan multiple times in a day, nor do I actually scan even multiple times in a week or month. Once you’ve been scanned, you’re scanned until you make a significant change to your appearance that causes me to pause and do it again.
If nothing big has changed since the last time, I don’t bother scanning again. The initial scan is entirely untintentional and subconscious and happens before any other thoughts actually take place. I’m not going to lie and say that I wouldn’t intentionally scan as well, I’m just pointing out that it happens regardless.
My mind works a lot like a computer program or database query though. A woman walks into the room:
If AlreadyKnown = True Then
If BigChange = False Then
Exit Sub
ElseIf BigChange = True Then
Call ScanExisting()
End If
ElseIf AlreadyKnown = False Then
Call ScanNew()
End If
So the first scan starts with the face/hair and if I already know the woman then she doesn’t get scanned unless there’s something new about the face/hair or there’s an obvious change to one of the other “sections” that sticks out when I check the face/hair.
That’s the way it works for me.
Precisely what is the Shrew-Princess Coefficient?
Regarding the very last part of the post, if said husband/brother/father actually admits to this, he’s a fool. The wise man denies it, in exactly the same way he agrees with everything the women in his family say, and in exactly the way the even wiser man agrees with everything the men in his family say when he suspects what is being said originated with that man’s wife/girlfriend. But yes, he is lying.
Perfect example of this: your brother and sister-in-law have a baby boy. Your brother asks what you think of the name, and you know it’s almost a guaranteed certainty that he went along with whatever his wife wanted, in the interest of preserving marital bliss. Of course, if you say you think the name stinks, even if it really does, it’s also almost a guaranteed certainty that it’ll get back to her.
“We named him Bailey.” “Bailey.” “Uh huh. What do you think?” “…” “Well?” “Brilliant.” “Really?” “Yes. Absolutely. It’s outstanding. I couldn’t have thought of a better name in a hundred years.” “You don’t think it’s trendy, do you?” “Oh hell no. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a kid named Bailey. And it’s strong, a good strong name.” “Really?” “You bet, champ. How ’bout those Yankees?”
We’re lying about that, and we’re lying when we say we don’t constantly check out women, every woman we see. It’s not taught, it’s not learned, it’s not because of socialization. It’s how we’re wired, and that is that. We apologize to all women for our faulty engineering, but there literally is nothing we can do about it.
I can honestly say that I don’t do this to “everyone”. I am however guilty of scanning everyone thats looks less than 10 years older than I am.
DUDE! You’re not supposed to TELL them that! Now I’m gonna have to bring you up on charges of violating the Man Covenant and that’s just such a pain in the rear.
Tis true; however, the female perspective consists of Yes-No-Could Be. Data points being: Face, Physique, and well…the “potential” of the not-so-obvious.
Totally going to pray that none of my Female friends and coworkers read this one cause I really don’t want to have to answer the questions that will most certainly follow. The post is, however, entirely true!
True, but I’ll add this. The prospect has to meet basic natural individual standards… I won’t scan a 5 year old. I won’t scan a man. I will scan a high schooler.
I suspect the guys who don’t do this were bred out of the gene pool back before our species came into existence.
I have to think it’s a human kind of thing. Women do it too, but it’s harder to spot.
LMAO…My husband recently admitted to this…*scanning*….and I caught a good friend of the opposite sex doing it to me once…shoulda thought to ask how I rate, just to see him blush!
I don’t believe this scan is female only and not even age restricted. As long as the one in question is at least like 12 a scan happens rating them among their peers. while it normally has nothing to do with if I find them attractive just if the opposite gender and the same age would see them as attractive.
ex. My neighbor is a 12 year old boy putting him far off my attractive meter but I can tell the girls in his school would think hes cute.