/ring ring!
Hallo?
Daniel, this is your attorney.
Hallo!
You’ll be at your appointment tomorrow?
Yes.
Good. Do you like coffee? I make the best coffee in Orlando.
I like coffee, but probably not your coffee.
I make the best coffee!
Yes, but I only like lattes.
Lattes?
Yes, raspberry lattes.
…
So what you’re saying is that you have no balls.
I have balls! I just don’t like them in my coffee.
So what where do you get your lattes?
Starbucks, anywhere, I’m not picky right now.
You’ll be going to Starbucks tomorrow?
Not if you’re going to make the best coffee in Orlando. I’m not going to insult you by not drinking it.
But if I don’t make coffee, you’ll stop by a Starbucks?
Probably.
…
Would you get me something too?
/smug Daniel look
What do you want?
Tall iced Mocha in a Grande cup, the rest of the cup filled with whipped cream!
…
Tall iced Mocha?
Yes.
In a Grande cup?
Yes.
Filled with whipped cream?
Yes!
…
There’s a joke in here about balls, but I’m not about to make it. See you tomorrow.
Ask him if his Tall iced Mocha in a Grande cup, the rest of the cup filled with whipped cream gets him recognition in a world-renowned video game!
Also, attorney, appointment, what gives?
Typical attorney…Saying he makes the best coffee in Orlando, then having you buy him starbucks. (bait-and-switch anyone) I bet he’s not even going to pay you back for the over-priced cup of coffee you’re going to bring him.
I’m going to get me one of those Raspberry lattes at Starbucks today just to see what the fuss is about…
Do I want to know how many calories are in one of those raspberry lattes?
That phone call just cost you $165 and you’re buy him a lady’s latte on top of that? Hope he’s a good lawyer.
“Do I want to know how many calories are in one of those raspberry lattes?”
Raspberry latte is delicious. It’s like drinking five Snickers bars though.
Charge him $165 for the telephone coffee consultation, another $165 for the delivery fee. Plus a reasonable hourly rate of $159 while waiting in line and driving to his office. billed under services rendered.
Skraps
Clearly a superior coffee drink in terms of “manliness”. Check it out here:
http://hitormiss.yolasite.com/pics
ps. Don’t forget the dome lid.
Scrap the raspberry and heart attack-inducing dairy, and get a Soy Latte, extra hot, no foam. And for Pete’s sake (whoever he is) don’t add sugar or sweetener, just drink it straight.
Fine. Keep your raspberry latte. I guess we can’t all be coffee connosewers.
I’m confused. Doesn’t adding all this extra stuff take away from the flavor of the coffee…..
or is that the point?
What do I know? I drink tea, straight, no sugar or lemon, hot and I never go to Starbucks for that. They look at you phunny when you order tea.
Soy Latte? Raspberry syrup? Whipped cream?
Way to ruin good coffee!
(I’ll take mine hot, in a mug, with half and half, and 1/2 tsp sugar.
kthxbai!)
venti no whip mocha frappuccino single ftw.
You’re not making this up, are you?
Fancy coffees are always good – too bad I don’t have a Starbucks on my way to work. What I did do though is count out that buying a coffee (normal, ordinary boring with milk) every work-day on my way to work will cost me about 500$ a year… so I got a thermos-mug instead! Now I just gotta find where to find raspberry syrup….
Ewwwwww Coffee is disgusting. Many years ago i use to work for a world famous coffee company. So i know what goes into your stupidly named and vastly overpriced hot drink.
YUCK!
Oh, that iced mocha sounds terribly unhealthy!
I tried to get a raspberry latte in our local Starbucks the other week, but was sad to find that England doesn’t seem to have raspberry flavouring on offer! Maybe I should have asked for it… they might keep it out the back or something.
HAHA!
Nice
Best story I’ve read here so far.
so this guy claims to make the best coffee in orlando? then not only has you get him one when you’re stopping to get your raspberry latte, but he has a very specific order from a very specific establishment. i.e. – he’s ordered it before, and has very specific ordering instructions…..seems odd for a guy who “makes the best coffee in orlando” if you ask me.
which, if we use a transitive property (or translative? whatever it’s early, i’m tired, and i DON’T drink coffee), means, i sure hope he doesn’t tell you he’s “the best lawyer in orlando”. i wonder who he farms that out to, and if he has a very specific order with very specific ordering instructions.
/cheers to smug looks and life’s little victories though
There’s an old Dennis Leary standup skit aboout Coffee flavored coffee. I think about it every time I read raspberry latte. But we’re all allowed our one vice right?
/Mental note to try to get rid of four other vices…
As a Barista at Starbucks, please allow me to point some things out. First, while ultimately none of this matters, it does slightly simplify our lives if you order it like we are meant to call it out. “iced” is the first descriptor we have, as in an iced grande or an iced tall etc. Secondly, the “single” or “solo”, “double” etc that shows how many espresso shots are being added is the second descriptor; an iced solo/single venti mocha late. If the drink isn’t iced then the shot becomes the first descriptor. It’s ridiculous- and every district is different, but hopefully it’s humorous for you. Lastly, for those curious about the waste of good coffee, none of those drinks technically have any coffee to waste. They use a shot or two of espresso. It’s mostly just steamed milk or soy, so no worries.
During my time as a Starbuck’s Barista (in between jobs in the auto industry) I became addicted to Quad, White Mochas with Raspberry syrup.
Yep, white chocolate syrup, plus rasberry syrup, plus 4 shots of espresso. That’ll keep ya going on your shift!
Now that I am back in the auto industry… black, double sweet will do fine thank you.
Skarlarth and Co.
Medivh
Just coffee thank you, Kona or Kenyan, with some 2% milk.
Here’s to the divorce being over with. That conversation cost you 0.1 hour unless it went a second over 6 minutes and cost 0.2 hours. I used to have non-legal chats with my divorce attorney – until I saw what I got billed for them.
Me: Grande Chai Creme Frappuccino
Alternative: Grande Passion Iced Tea, half-sweet
Winter: That ridiculously fabulous signature hot chocolate
Boyfriend: Grande 8-pump Mocha, hot, with whipped cream..even when it’s 118 degrees out.
Flashing on L.A. Stroy….
Tom: I’ll have a decaf coffee.
Trudi: I’ll have a decaf espresso.
Morris Frost: I’ll have a double decaf cappuccino.
Ted: Give me decaffeinated coffee ice cream.
Harris: I’ll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a twist of lemon.
Trudi: I’ll have a twist of lemon.
Tom: I’ll have a twist of lemon.
Morris Frost: I’ll have a twist of lemon.
Cynthia: I’ll have a twist of lemon.
here’s hoping the most appropriate coffee for the meeting is not half and half
Good Luck, Man
Recipe for The Best Coffee
First, obtain green (un-roasted) coffee beans of your favorite variety. These are actually very easy to obtain on the internet, and also often available from your local roaster. Expect to pay about half what you’re paying for roasted beens, and understand they’ll keep more or less indefinitely.
Second, roast the beans yourself. You can accomplish this with a simple hot air popcorn popper (the kind where the hot air comes in from vents along the side, nott straight up from a grill at the bottom), or you can go get something fancier with programmable levels, etc. If you go with the popcorn popper, Don’t plan on being able to use it for both popcorn and coffee – the oils from the coffee will come out in the roasting. The roasting is actually pretty simple, and you can do it to what ever darkness you prefer. There are many guides online, and you should expect it to take anywhere from 4 to 10 minutes depending on how hot your roasting them and how dark you like your beans
Third, Grind your beans. I prefer a coarse grind because I use a French press so that I don’t have a paper filter absorbing all that great fresh-roasted coffee flavor. I also prefer a cone grinder to a burr or blade grinder. Better consistency of the grind. I should note here that you ought to let your fresh roasted beans sit for around 24 hours or so before grinding any of them – this is when they will have their peak flavor. Also, they will remain very tasty for several days – up to a week or so. Of course, only grind as much as you plan to brew at the moment, and leave the rest for the next batch.
Fourth, Brew your coffee. I think most people have some idea how to do this with whatever equipment they prefer.
Fifth, drink your coffee! You may, of course, add half and half, milk, flavored syrups, etc, as your taste buds may be so inclined to prefer, but you’ll be adding whatever that is to the freshest, best tasting coffee you’ve ever made with your own hands.
Enjoy!
I tried my local Starbucks a few times but the coffee-selling-shop (there’s a difference to a coffeeshop in the Netherlands) has hardly any people waiting in line and most important: If I order a double espresso I get one at the other shop, at starbucks I have to explain them (every time again) that i would just like 2 really small cups of very strong coffee in ONE cup.
I can understand that it is strange that someone would order “easy” coffee at Starbucks, but I just like my strong black caffeine shot in the morning.
I admit to go for fast and strong over fancy and a train to work later, but as stated before; everyone has his or her sins!
You see…this is why I don’t drink coffee at all. You people are all addicts!!!!
WHAT IS THIS!!!!! YOU LOGGED IN TO WOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? You got Achievements yesterday!!!! IS BRK BACK?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
@Decks
KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED! Long live the hunter god BRK
Oh and by the way Caramel Frappacino (couldn’t spell it if I tried) for the win
Hmmm, 25, 100, 250 and 5000 dungeon and raid emblems, all on the same day? And he is not talented? It does not compute.
However, it does seem he musta logged in. I don’t know.
he had to have logged in, or gotten hacked. I armoried a friend of mine who hasn’t logged in since may and he still hasn’t had his achievements updated… so yeah… Either BRK is testing the waters, or he was hacked…
Yah, but I am saying the achievements are weird! I cannot remember if the emblem achievement was implemented right away. If it wasn’t perhaps upon login, he got all of them retro-actively.
If he’s untalented, then he may have logged in to say hello to a friend or two, but he didn’t play.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/08/28/funny-pictures-boyfriend-cant-you-tell/
BRK has cheeseburger?
Finally broke down and tried one of those raspberry lattes yesterday.
FTW.
I’ll not be too indulgent, and only get them once in a while.
Story about the most expensive drink they could make in a “venti” cup.
A 13 shot venti soy hazelnut vanilla cinnamon white mocha with extra white mocha and caramel. It cost a total of $13.76 (with tax).
http://anerroroccurredwhileprocessingthisdirective.com/2007/09/28/the-most-expensive-drink-at-starbucks/
You should try the dark chocolate raspberry latte that we serve at Second Cup here in the great white north. Very decadent and tasty!