You meet someone. You find you’re compatible, and you’ve made a new friend. Chat chat, babble babble, yak yak yak.
And then it happens: The Big Question.
Religion? Nope.
Politics? Easy.
Culture-dividing opinions? Nah.
Geopolitical analysis? Pfft.
No, these are all easily discussed, actually. But your new friend hits you where it can really hurt the most, and you’ve got one chance to get the answer right, or risk losing your friendship forever. If you’re over the age of 15, you know where I’m going:
Captain Crunch vs. Count Chocula.
DON’T FREAK OUT ON ME! YES I SAID IT!
Look, there are “chocolate and marshmellow” eaters and there are “crunchy and fruity” eaters, and nothing can ruin a relationship faster than trying to mix people of different cereal-genres.
The Breakfast Alliance: Captain Crunch, Crunch Berries, Fruit Loops, Apple Jacks, Frosted Flakes, Trix.
The Breakfast Horde: Count Chocula, Cocoa Puffs, Lucky Charms, Cocoa Krispies, Alpha Bits.
You get to pick one faction, and if your friend is in the other, the frienship is doomed. DOOMED I SAY. You can’t just pay $15 and switch sides. You grew UP in your cereal-faction! It’s part of your DNA!
Personally, I’m not a chocolate or marshmellow cereal fan, so of course I went with the Captain Crunch.
“ME TOO!!!!” my friend replied, and I collapsed in a sweaty heap, but knowing I was safe.
But you do realize the stress I was put through, yes? The tension, the agony of having everything just collapse around me if this person was a chocolate-milk-sludge fanatic?
All I can say is that I’m glad this event is behind me.
Never really tried Captain Crunch. But used to love Apple Jacks! Not sure if that is the case now that they have made all the changes, but I hope so.
Here’s to the Breakfast Alliance!
I’m a proud part of the Breakfast Horde!!
The alliance produces my favorite Raisin Bran
… so what faction do eaters of blander cereals belong to? Personally, I can’t stand sweet-tasting cereals.
If you haven’t been reading Breakfast of the Gods (http://www.webcomicsnation.com/poyorick/), go do so now! It’ll shed whole new light on this dispute.
I take the middle road and go with “Boo Berry” — Fruity + Marshmallows. It’s the only cereal I know of that can bridge the divide, and since it’s only on shelves for one month a year the rarity gets me bonus points. Works every time.
While I HATE those nasty crunchy cereal “marshmallows”, I like some chocolate cereals. Then again, I like all the cereals in the Alliance… So, I guess I’m pretty much alliance when it’s all said and done.
Ooo, this one’s tough. I love me some Trix (the old-school ones, you know, the ones that actually LOOKED like fruit?), but Alpha-Bits and Lucky Charms are win and awesome in my book.
I must be a cereal goblin.
What about Fruity Pebbles? The most amazing cerial ever. And Capt’n Crunch for life!
I’m the same way with cereal as I was with WoW: I play on both Alliance AND Horde. Cap’n Crunchberries one day, Count Chocula the next
Uh-oh…I like BOTH Fruit Loops AND Lucky Charms.
Um…Cheerios (plain, don’t give me these silly permutations of little tan round circles) wif bananas?
/hides
And then there are…..
the oatmeal eaters.
2 cereals left out of the list, and they are the 2 best. Cocoa Pebbles and Fruity Pebbles.
That being said, we need a neutral faction. Pretty much, if it’s a kid’s cereal, I’ll eat it. Both varieties of Pebbles rank at the top, but I love me some Lucky Charms and some Fruit Loops too. Cap’n Crunch, though, is my downfall. The world is wonderful until about 5 minutes after finishing a bowl, when the roof of my mouth feels like a cheese grater… the infamous “Crunch Mouth” effect. Worth every bit of annoyance, though, for the awesome taste.
Side note, they now have Fruit Loops with Marshmallows. If you haven’t tried this, don’t bother. My kids love it, but there is something sacrilegious to me about adding marshmallows to a classic. Kind of like what they did with Mustang body styles in the nineties.
I’ve got to go with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Although Fruity/Cocoa Pebbles are good too.
And yeah, Boo Berry is just plain awesome. Frankenberry in a pinch, but mmmmm…. Boo Berry…..
Aliance FTW!
While the importance of this conversation cannot be underestimated, there are a couple other deal breaking questions…
1. Dreamworks or Pixar?
2. Does she like “Big Trouble in Little China” ?
3. Starbursts or Now and Laters?
See, if the “friend” likes the other variety, it’s a win, to me. Everyone gets their own box! Twice the free prizes! What’s not to like?
oh no, where do i fit, corn flakes and cherios
I’m a big fan of Honey Nut Cheerios, which doesn’t fit into either category. Does that make me a goblin? Cenarion Expedition? Maybe a random mob, who is hostile to both Horde and Alliance?
Or, since I like to put my Cheerios in Nesquik-induced milk, does that make me the Horde? It doesn’t make it sludgy or anything, it’s more that I just can’t stand the taste of plain milk after having the honey-and-nuts dissolve into it, so I add the chocolate to make it more bearable.
LOK’TAR OGAR! FOR THE HORDE!
How has no one said Rice Crispies yet? That’s got to be my favorite cereal. I like to add brown sugar to it too.
Grats for getting back in the ‘game’ – and no, I don’t mean WoW…
Life will start looking up now, I guarantee it.
And Count Chocula FTW.
Now, the real question is…
Where do the Raisin Bran eaters fall? Are we the Naaru/Violet Eye of Cereal eaters?
@Rob: yes, yes you are. Grape Nuts eaters are the Burning Legion.
Peanut Butter Crunch
/evade!
I am so not impressed. In my youth, I was a founding member of BLO (Barbie Liberation Organization), whereby we successfully waged terrorist attacks against children by switching the voice boxes of Barbie and GI Joe. As such, Barbie sneered “Vengeance is mine” while GI Joe lamented “
MatchMath is hard”. Global domination is glorious.Dump her, Daniel, she sounds like a bimbo. Come to the Dark Side where I shall show you the Light.
/cast Mind Control
/dances, lap-like
/saunters away beckoning you to follow.
Ed: Spelling is a beyotch, too, ain’t it.
No Reese’s Pieces in the breakfast Horde?
I sit in the 3rd faction of “Don’t Do Cereal”. Toaster scotch pancakes is my way to start the day.
From a European POV I really can’t take side in this issue. Your cereals are far to sweet, more like candy than something you want to have for breakfast. Yak.
I’m sorry, but I’d say “müsli”, un-sweetened and some fresh fruit/berries to go with it.
(dodging the rotten tomatoes thrown at me)
I prefer Raisin Bran, granola or just plain old multigrain Cheerios if I’m doing cold cereal.
Not a fan of marshmallows in general, especially not in cereal.
/cast Feign Death
My husband has told me the truth and I’m not sure I can bear it! While I am definitely of the Horde cereal faction, he has admitted he is Alliance.
I don’t know what this means. I think we can move past it, but I fear we won’t.
But, it might not matter anyway…we’re low-carbers. Cereal is on the “no no” list.
Where does Honey Nut Cheerios, Corn Flakes, and Chex fall into the World of Cerealcraft? I can’t stand either the chocolately or marshmallowy cereals.
I can’t agree with your division of cereal. Alphabits and Luckycharms do not fit in with the Horde list you have chosen. Other than those 2 exceptions I am strictly Alliance.
I like some of the Cereals on both lists, so I must be……goblin?
I’ll admit it, I loved those chocolate-flavored cereals as much as the next kid, but growing up on the wrong side of the tracks it was Oatmeal or Wheaties in our house; nutritious, filling, and cheap. And yes, bland & tasteless unless spiced up with brown sugar, raisins, and/or bananas, but if you want to put in an honest day’s work you need to start the day with something that will stick to your ribs.
I agree with some of the other posters, I like both, so I must be goblin. Gobblin’ up cereal, anyways.
OMFG!!!! I have to get home now before my cereal cabinet is in ruins!!! I have cereals from both factions in my cabinet right next to each other…and they’re not druids either….
All sane and rational people are proud members of the Alliance. And yes, Captain Crunch is the poster-child for the Alliance. There is NO WAY I would ever let my children be swayed to the dark side of the cereal isle. Marshmallows are for putting on a stick and burning to a crisp.
I don’t eat cereals and never heard of those two…but well…don’t think they are common in germany…
Definately Cap’n Crunch. And Quisp. Marshmallows *shudder*
-Del
OMG. Right there…that’s my husband and me. I prefer Alliance and “fruity” cereals. He prefers Horde and “chocolate” cereals.
If only we knew the reasoning was so simple…
For the
Hordechocolate and marshmallow!(For the record, I actually play Alliance. I wonder if there’s any correlation there….)
By the way, what about Golden Grahams? Argent Dawn? I may be overthinking your metaphor.
What about Life? Am I the only one that ate Life? Me and Mikey?
I’ve seen someone throw up Cocoa Crispies, so I will always be a Cpt. Crunch & Co. kinda guy.
B-A For Life
I tell you its just a huge load off when things line up.
A young woman and I have been comparing notes at the gym lately, and she had to push the compatability issue.
She wanted astrological signs…Chinese and Western zodiacs.
I thought I was safe so I answered Rooster! And she said Boar.
D’oh. Compatable.
No one ever matches up on both calendars so I went ahead and yelled Aries!
She responded with Leo.
Ah, crap. Both compatable? Unheard of.
So I had to pull out all the stops and asked this one of her:
Goofy or Mickie?
She said Minnie….
I’m part of the Breakfast Alliance. Mmm trix
Lovely picture of Dave Kellett (creator of the comic “Sheldon”) in his Hallowe’en costume
http://www.sheldoncomics.com/forums/sheldontalk/3598/