10. My cat is basically refusing to jump on the sofa, across to the kitchen island, and leap one more time onto the counter to eat. She sits on the tile and demands to be picked up. She weighs 9lbs, that’s not the problem. It’s just that she’s always underfoot. And she never tips for excellent service.
9. I washed a velvet curtain drape. I put it on my dresser while I got a step stool. My cat was across the house. I got the step stool, came back in the bedroom, and my cat was rolling all over the velvet. She can’t jump to get food, but to spread hair over my freshly-washed drape she’s suddenly Super Cat?
8. She is encroaching upon me in the evening. As I watch TV or a movie and chat on the computer, she jumps on the bed and rests at the far corner. An hour later she’s in my armpit and I don’t remember her moving at all.
7. She’s not eating my food, but expressing extreme interest in it. I brought a bowl of red grapes to bed and she was reborn as a fruit-bat cat. GIMME A GRAPE, DOOFUS! she emoted.
6. She’s waiting for me at the front door. When I come home from work, my dog occupies the “Where is Daddy?” spot by the front door. But when I return from walking the dog, my cat is squatting there, barking at me. When did she start missing me?
5. The dog’s water bowl is now communal, apparently. She’s had her own water cup since she was born, but she’s refusing to drink from it now and is emptying the dog’s bowl every night.
4. My spot on the bed is My Spot, cat. When I get up to do something, she moves in like my bed was foreclosed and she’s the government.
3. Get off my chest. That spot is reserved for future use, kitten.
2. Someone is recording Animal Planet on my DVR. I blame her.
1. The cuddling, the purring, the lovie-dovie “MY DADDY IS HOME” attitude is really starting to worry me. Is this the beginning of cat-insanity? My cat was raised in the jungles of the Congo; she’s not nice, never has been. Now she can’t get enough attention from me, and it’s starting to get on my nerves.
…
Crazy cat.
/pet
/scratch
I wouldn’t get too worked up over it. My cat would go through nice phases every now and then, but that’s all they ever were – phases. Strange how much I miss that stupid mean cat.
Cats are bi-polar. When you come home, you never know which cat will be waiting for you. These episodes may last weeks to months to even years.
One thing we did for our cat when he decided that he couldn’t get enough attention was to get a 2nd cat. He was able to get all the attention he needs and it mellowed out his manic episodes. Still, he insists on sitting on the top of my computer chair and cleaning my hair. Not cool cat.. not cool.
My theory is that cats get mellow in their middle age. All my cats have, around age 6ish.
My cat had done the same thing when he got older.
The idependant, mean with a nice streak cat suddenly became a lap cat.
He stayed like that until the end of his 19 years.
I think I might be able to help you with #10.
You’ve taught your cat to bug you, after preparing her food, until you pick her up and put her up there. That’s called operant conditioning. When there’s food on the counter she knows the way to get to it is to bug you. Look up Thorndike’s Cats if you want to learn about some very clever stuff he taught cats to do in order to reach their food.
To fix this I’d say leave the room entirely after preparing her food. Don’t come back for awhile. If she really wants the food she will find a way to get to it. Lock yourself in another room if she follows. Since you’ve been picking her up every single time then it shouldn’t take too long until she realizes it no longer works.
If that doesn’t work then try taking smaller steps. Put the food on the couch cushion for a couple of days, then the top of the couch if you can, kitchen counter, then the counter you make her food on.
BF Skinner taught Pigeons to play ping pong and other dumb things so it shouldn’t be too hard to teach your cat to jump some. Seems like she just hasn’t bothered to learn how to get there because you just pick her up.
My two cents the spirit of hobbes is infecting her now be careful the next step is turning into a BRK….. Nah shes prob just mindf… ummmm messing with you yea thats the nice way of putting it
At first I wondered what in the heck was with the cat on the counter… but then I remembered the dog. Cat on the counter to eat makes perfect sense then.
I’ve seen cats do everything you have discribed. This is normal for them. One will greet me at the door, and be constantly underfoot, no matter what is going on. The other will flee from you if you so much as step towards her. And yet that same cat will wait until I’m sitting on the couch, or the floor, or in my computer chair. Then she hops into my lap, turns a circle and starts kneedy-purring away. But if I try and pick her up its omgwtf-RUNAWAY time.
I’d agree with bman up there too. Though, I must point out, she has YOU trained too. She just sits there and stares at you until you do exactly what she wants you to. Besides, cats are cuddly and cute. Between the child, the dog, and the cat… home must be pretty busy but full of a ton of unconditional love and affection.
Mowzer approves.
/purr
/kitty high five
/ecstatically sheds little white hairs
I’m curious, was this a cat you had during the marriage? Is so, she could be going through a bit of divorce anxiety. Just my two cents.
As a cat owner myself I can understand everything you posted. It is just being your typical cat. I say worry when it has figured out how to open doors
you need more dogs…
Curry nailed it. Typical cat. They do what they want when they feel like it and have us trained perfectly… I do believe that they know how crazy this can drive us humans and they secretly smile as they submit their report.
#4 is HUGE with my cat. Jack can stealth, appropriate, invade and conquer all in a matter of seconds and I’m sleeping on the couch… until he decides he’d rather have that too.
It’s when the change in their behavior is/shows hiding, not eating, depression, aggression that there may be something up. And Luna’s got a very good point as well. Pets also have to adjust to the absence or addition of roommates… it IS their house you know.
Sounds like your cat has you well trained. My cats are more like dogs every day. They beg for food, they play fetch and they greet me at the door. Just they don’t slobber like a dog. Though the one drools a bit sometimes. Also in true must reference LOL cat fashion..
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/10/01/funny-pictures-of-the-sofa/
I’m not going to give advice like these other yahoos. (YEAH I SAID YAHOOS.) I found your post entertaining (as always) and easily imagined.
It amazes me how much personality animals have. My wife and I have three cats, and I would describe all three of them as opposite each other. Yes, three opposites. And all are vastly different from any of the cats I had growing up.
Cats are trainable; none of ours are allowed in the kitchin/dining area and ALL know where the dividing line us.
One of my cats argues with me when I tell him “down” or “no” or “your front paws are in the kitchen, back up”.
“Get out of the kitchen!”
“MROW!”
“Out of the kitchen…”
“Mrow…”
I have to say, that picture of your cat is AWESOME. Handsome cat is handsome.
When the cat is laying on your chest, does she have difficulty grasping the concept of when you move to get up it means move? My cat (who had a litter of six kittens yesterday, one died.) will still lay on my chest even as I’m almost perpendicular to the bed. Then she gets pissy when she falls off.
As you described your cat, I kept thinking about this very funny comic film about Simon’s Cat.
http://www.simonscat.com/films.html
Cats are kool! I miss your commentary about your adventures in the World of Warcraft, still.
Basically, our grumpy cat goes through the same cycles. I think it has something to do with the seasons, but we live in Texas… ??? (Help us!)
as a former cat sla.. er owner.. I firmly believe it is not possible to train a cat. you can trick them into doing things your way, but in the end, cats know that their pets will bend to their will.
By the way, ran across an old funny of How to bathe a cat..
CAT BATHING AS A MARTIAL ART
1. Know that although the kitty cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don’t try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, we recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)
2. Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. We recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.
3. Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.)
4. Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have now begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
5. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He’ll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don’t expect too much.)
6. Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have just been through. That’s because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg.
7. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.
In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn’t usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But at least now he smells a lot better.
Wait. A cat on your chest is a problem? I think one of life’s single best pleasures is having my cat lie on me in the morning and purr. “No doctor, I do not need those hypertension drugs. I have a cat that lies on my chest in the morning and purrs.” She doesn’t do it for long, maybe 10 minutes tops, but I have the radio playing jazz and a cat purring as I lie there. Those are some of the best 10 minutes of my life. If it was the puppy of love, I would worry about breathing.
And, when I’m frustrated with WOW, one of the two of them seems to show up and want an ear scratch or to be in the lap. Yes, it’s hard to hit the attack keys when there’s a 15 pound cat in my lap (The black one is BIG.), but when she looks up at me, I swear she’s smiling and I can’t help but smile back.
Why is yours suddenly your best friend? Who knows. I’d enjoy it, though. As capricious as cats are, she could be back to ignoring you without warning.
I enjoyed the cat stories.
#9 – Cats love sitting on things. We have one cat that will lie on plastic bags, pillows… just about anything that is not regular carpet. My sister has a cat that, while making a cloak for a Halloween costume, would lie on the tissue paper patterns until we brought out the suede fabric. At that point, she (the cat) start laying on the suede. We ended up having to shut her in the office as we were pulling her off every minute, much to her verbal displeasure.
#7 – It is surprising how well behaved a hungry cat can be. I witnessed such a display when I was eating lunch over at my sister’s place. I was eating hot dogs on the couch with 3 cats on one side and 3 on the other; they were sitting perfectly straight up, just staring at the food. If one ever dared to step towards the plate of food, a simple “aught” or other sharp, nonsense phrase would snap the culprit back into line. It was, however, common courtesy to give each one a small tasting for the display of good behavior.
#1 – It is interesting how quickly a cat’s behavior can change. As Luna mentioned, it could be a sort of separation anxiety. We have a cat who lived inside our house and was always grouchy. He only wanted attention on his terms, and even then, he was extremely verbal and making low growling noises. After he and his housemate got evicted to the front porch (housemate’s fault), he slunk off into the woods for 2-3 weeks. When he came back he became much more needy. Although he is still very verbal when being pet, he is not making as many threatening growls.
“GIMME A GRAPE DOOFUS” /win
I have had cats as family members in the past, and I have two tidbits to share :
1) Dogs have families: cast have staff.
2) Cats don’t have the ability to taste anything sweet – they lack the sweet receptor on the tongue. No wonder they get bitchy!
Hi Daniel.
I finally tamed my first spirit beast today, Gondria in Zul’Drak and she is beauuuuutiful
I know you don’t care anymore, it’s alright…. I just needed to tell it to someone who knew the feeling of spotting a spirit beast for the first time and tame it
Regards Henrik.
O hai,
So Daniel this is where you’ve been off to? Must start reading your blogs a bit closer…anywho, I JUST FOUND THIS BLOG, and I’m thrilled to see you haven’t completely taken yourself off the interwebs. I in all honesty miss your oddly english voice screaming in my ears annually about the dangers of sporebats, but seeing as the natures of IRL have gotten to, oh snap.
Well, I plan to start monitoring this regularly, and wish you the best, if you never got it last I read your blogs.
Best Regards, James
step one: get rid of your cat
step two: get a bear.
step three: bring your bear pet to work
step three.a: create a “bring your pet to work day”, if non-existant.
step four: watch bear pet tear off coworkers
step five: record everything on video
step six: upload to the interwebz
step seven: win insane loads of money, charging people for watching your bear.
step eight: buy more bear pets, rinse, repeat.
I have a Cat 2 kittens and a dog, the cats have their own bowl of water that has never been used even the kittens go straight for the dogs waterbowl and always have…
http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2736571392
Congrats Henrik!!
I got Gondria on the 16th! So amazing, I love him!!! Now I gotta scrap up the cash to renew my subscription. It went up on the 17th…>_<
Got some nice screenshots to look at.
Obvious troll is obvious
I read somewhere that cats (highly territorial) are inclined to introduce their scent on freshly washed items. I’m always cleaning fur off everything…I’m a fur cleaning kitty slave furrever.
I was actually going to swing in and ask you to keep an eye on her.
I have an exceptionally cold cat who occasionally gets affectionate. Sometimes it’s that she’s a bit lonely. I’d say about 75% of the time, it means she is sick with something. It’s usually nothing but a little kitty cold or a UTI. Still, when I see my aloof girl laying on my chest for no reason, I know to keep an eye on her.
I wish my cat was nice.
Nobody ever expects it to be the cat…
Oh hi, Bisquik. You’re still here…
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EUSEBIA
As a new dog owner I value all the guidance listed here. I would like my puppy to be effectively trained and have a wholesome environment to live in. Bless you for the information.