You’re being dragged through the mall and forced to enter that one store that just makes you angry more than anything. Yes, Yankee Candle.
“DEAR JEEBUS NO!”
Yes, the candle place. Flowers and fruit and sprays and all the stuff you can’t stand in your bedroom.
But did you know there’s stuff in there for men? Of course you didn’t; the dumb {expletive deleted} don’t label them as such.
Next time you’re captured inside Yankee Candle, find Midsummer’s Night. Don’t smell the candle itself; smell the inside of the lid. It’s not a feminine candle, fellas. It’s like cologne for your bedroom.
Now since a vast swath of the male population hasn’t a clue how to put on cologne, let’s get Candle Instructions out of the way.
Buy the medium jar. Light it, let it burn for three hours. Snuff out the candle. Trim the wick to 1/8“.
Always burn your jar candles for three hours to avoid “mushrooming” of the candle wax.
How do you trim the wick? Some people use regular scissors, some people use toenail clippers. But the truly suave use real candle wick trimmers. Does your significant other go simply crazy for those bell-jar candles? Well now you know just what to get as a stocking stuffer AND you get to explain how proper wick-care leads to cleaner and longer candle burns.
Look, any chump can buy a girl her own pink Wii controller and nunchuck, but how about you be a little more sensitive and thoughtful this year.
I was thinking of getting my girl a stripper… Does that count as sensative and caring? How about if I ask the stripper to light a candle for her?
Kitty, you do realize that particular candle smells just like Drakkar Noir, right? It’s the cologne Jason nabbed me with. /swoons at that scent
Enjoy your manly candle XD
“how about you be a little more sensitive and thoughtful this year”
…………..
Who ARE you, and what have you done with our friend, Daniel?????
I’m calling 911.
I get that guys can like certain scents and not all candle scents have to be feminine. However, does the aesthetic of burning a candle actually appeal to a guy?
I hate Yankee Candle too. I also hate that Bath and Body Works place.
*whimpers*
Simple answer? Yes.
More complex answer? Not always.
For example: your feminine bedroom has lace ruffled curtains, matching damask, 10,000 little pillows, and votive candles on multiple white wicker tables. These candles, and the room itself, will not usually lend to a man approving of your aesthetic.
And on the contrary, a man need not have a Pittsburgh Steelers comforter and matching pajamas, scantily-clad women posters, a beer-can collection from floor to ceiling, a 42-piece stereo system, and a disco ball hanging where the ceiling fan should be to occupy a masculine room that also appears to the fairer gender.
“For example: your feminine bedroom has lace ruffled curtains, matching damask, 10,000 little pillows, and votive candles on multiple white wicker tables.”
Really? Wow. Mine has a trapeze and trampoline.. ok ok I do have a candle =)
How did I get that so wrong? I must have misread the handbook
I think I missed the “girls like candles and pink” gene when they were handing them out.
Then again I also don’t like cologne or weird smells. (Weird smells = almost all smells).
Since when is a mirrored disco ball considered “Masculine”?
Must be a Florida thing.
Also, I can vouch that spilled hot candle wax and the aroma of burned hair do not make for sexy time…
i absolutely abhor smelly candles, any kind of smelly candles store, and that horrible, disgusting and detestable body shop store. They make me sneeze.
when i haz sneeze i not happy catz, unhappy catz rearrange yer face.
I normally hate those kinds of places as we have a bath/shower style place that sells all these different soaps and stuff and the smell gives me instant migraine. I steer clear of them even though I can usually smell them across the other side of the mall.
…since you have found the store, I will be expecting a Yankee Candle for Christmas from you…a nice coconut scent would be great!
Julie
Pink Wii remote!!! thats my shopping done for her!
Probably one of the better smelling candles from that store…
I grew up about 20 miles away from the original Yankee Candle Factory in Deerfield, MA. You could smell it from about 5 miles out. Guess I’m kinda girly, ‘cuz I still don’t mind it today. I do, however, have a “Leather” scented Car-Jar. *grin* Makes me tough-girly, right?
Happy holidays, Daniel…to you and yours.
My wife quilts, scrapbooks like a demon, and loves scented candles. She’s also 5’2″, 107Lbs, works out with a trainer 3x a week, runs 20 miles a week, was a ski racer for 20 years and has a butt that keeps me following her.
She likes scented candles lit before she gets home. So I got one of those Torch Flame Lighters that sounds like a mini acetylene torch. I go around the house welding candles to make my pretty little muscle chick happy.
Another gift idea!
found these on vacation one time, the smells are spot on too.
http://www.originalmancandle.com/
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