“LET’S RIDE BIKES, DADDY.”
OK, where should we go?
“LET’S GO TO THE PARK.”
Right-o! Now it’s a long ride, so we have to…
“RIDE SAFELY.”
Yes, we’re going to look over our shoulder for cars and stop at all intersections.
“I’M A SAFE BIKE RIDER DADDY. I’M LIKE A NASCAR DRIVER.”
…
So we get to the park and there’s a little girl there that he recognizes from school. Her name has been changed to protect the young.
“HI MARY”
“HI SAMMY DO YOU WANNA RIDE ON THE SWINGS WITH ME?”
“NO I WANNA GO ON THE SLIDES.”
“OK I’LL GO ON THE SLIDES WITH YOU.”
And this pattern repeated itself with the slides, the monkey bars, the pavilion, the pond, the dog being walked, and his bike.
“DO YOU WANNA GO ON THE SWINGS NOW SAMMY?”
“NO I WANNA GO GET A DRINK OF WATER.”
“OK I’LL GO GET A DRINK OF WATER WITH YOU.”
You can see in his eyes, he’s totally in control, dominating the friendship, determining what get played and when, just being a powerful Boy. Boys don’t let Girls take command; it’s just not proper. She could ask if he wanted to play in a pool of chocolate pudding and get a free rocket ship ride into space, and he’d choose something else. ‘Cause Boys take command! Praise Jeebus, my son has it down! He’s on his game, he’s totally building his destiny!
And then it happens.
“SAMMY HOW OLD ARE YOU?”
“I’M SEVEN.”
“I’M SEVEN TOO. WHAT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY?”
My son gives her his birthday.
“OH. I’M OLDER THAN YOU!”
“OH YEAH? WHAT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY?”
And she gives her birthday, which is four days earlier than his. My son blinks, and she does it. She gives him…
The Female Smug and Satisfied Look.
BLAM-O!! She takes control of the friendship! With a LOOK! She drops an FS&SL right in his FACE and the results are not pretty. His face drops, his chin is in his chest, and the course of determining what will happen next has been ripped from his hands.
“WANNA PLAY ON THE SWINGS *NOOOW*?” Yes, she accented it and drew it out, I swear to you.
“OK.”
And they played on the swings. Her idea. He followed.
JUST WHEN DO YOU WOMEN GET TAUGHT THE SMUG AND SATISFIED LOOK?! It’s so evil, I cannot believe your gender would arm a seven year old with it.
I’m outraged.
I’m aghast.
I’m mortified.
…
And I need to teach my son a counter-move.
As soon as you figure out the counter-move, make sure you let me and all the rest of the men of the world what it is.
I believe the counter move is buy jewelry. Right? Or is ic chocolates and flowers?
All three, Skraps, all three…
A punch in the face will do the trick, too
(jk)
A punch in the face? No no no, that’s simply not proper!
A kick to the shins would be best in this circumstance.
” JUST WHEN DO YOU WOMEN GET TAUGHT THE SMUG AND SATISFIED LOOK?! ”
Easy.
We’re born with it.
4 Days earlier… that makes her OLDER.
Women dont like the age thing.
There is your advantage
Yes. It is absolutely true that we are born with it. It is learning to use it sparingly that must be taught. Even then we sometimes don’t even realize we are doing it. … which ends in me saying “I am allowed to look at my husband you know!!”
There is no true counter move, only ways to stall it from happening again.
Dang…whipped at 7. That’s sad…but usual.
I don’t think you can teach him the counter move. Just teach him to say yes ma’am and move on.
There’s a way to become almost totally immune to it, but I’d best not be pushing any sort of “agenda” on you or your kid XD
…we have a counter move?
I’m not sure shooting BB’s at the Panzer of smug looks is effective enough of being called a ‘counter’. I just start singing awkwardly until the female looses interest & rolls her eyes. Similar to dogs that lay on their back exposing their tummy.
Here I go… for the good of your son I am about to give you the keys to the kingdom. But, I don’t want the rest of you boys reading it–so if you are not the SOTBRK (Son of the Big Red Kitty) then look away.
His answer to the look is to shrug and walk off. She will come running and he will get his upper hand back faster than you can say Smug and Satisfying Look.
Good Luck SOTBRK!
I think you have it backwards the FS&SL is the result of KNOWING we have won not the winning move, Boys just don’t know they have lost until they see it most times.
meh, at least he is able to freely socialize with girls. I was the same way when I was younger pretty much raised by girls. You would be surprised how far you can get in the game if you are able to go clothes shopping with girls and at least pretend to enjoy it while putting in solid and honest but not honest to a fault input on clothing that they are trying on.
Either way moments like this will build him into a king among men.
well of course she had to use an FS&SL. she has been trying to play with him in the swings from the very start and he has been dragging her to all his games with no consideration.
control and power is nice and all but she wanted the swings and he was being difficult.
nothing for it, an FS&SL was needed, employed successfully and safely sheathed till next time.
There IS no counter move! Zip, zero, zilch, nada, nyet, nope, nuh uh, no way jose, ain’t never gonna happen, just get used to it, so THERE!
FS&SL
/Tosses hair and flounces away
I read a saying once, Women rule the world with whats not between there legs, your son just needs to realize it and come to accept it like the rest of us…we can’t win, but losing gracefully can be fun!
They learn the move at EXACTLY the time the little boys learn to take charge and issue orders
it’s all about balance in the universe
Choop
To be fair, its all well and good to be in control but you could have pointed out to him that he should put in a turn on the swings after he went 4 consecutive askings without going on the swings and she still went along with what he wanted.
He pushed too far and she did what she had to do. but bare in mind up until that point she was willing to accept the “lesser role” in teh friendship.
plus as Jamie said shrug, turn, walk when face is concealed smile / smug look of your own.
To try and teach your son a counter move is an entirely fruitless exercise. You would be better of teching him to take it like a man and move on.
*down trodden man speaks*
Awww, poor kid! But… good that he learns young that women rule the universe.
The only counter move is to Marry them, which isn’t really an option at 7
.
wait a sec…so your kid bossed another kid around over and over, and then when the tables turned you got pissy?
Let me ask you: if your kid had been bossing another boy around, and then that boy figured out your kid was just a bully and told him what to do, would you have been ok with it? Or would you have brought some tired cliches into that discussion as well?
You’re raising a boy on your own, with no women around. Please don’t teach this kid at age 7 to mistrust and hate girls, or to think that they have some sort of “agenda”. Step outside the box, understand that your kid was being bossy, and the other kid just figured it out and responded in kind, and move on. Don’t assign anything to it other than what it is: two kids playing, learning how to balance who is in charge of what.
Wow Mister Bunny … take a chill pill. Did you seriously think what he wrote was his full intentions. You read WAAYYY to much into the blog. Instead of trolling, why don’t you enjoy the blog for what it is. A blog that provides fun and interesting stories.
Bruennor
Wow I think it should be Mrs Bunny not Mister. BRK is doing a wonderful job raising his son. Course he could have what I have the tomboy girl who MUST control every aspect of playing and be the dominant one. Nothing wrong with teaching the kid to have Balls and be dominant. Better than the kid who ends up eating dirt, worms etc.. because the other told them to .
Even marriage isn’t a counter move, if anything the smug look gets used more after getting married. I don’t think a counter move exists, I think they just let us think there might be a counter move to stroke our ego’s.
Would it be fair to say in this case that “the only winning move is not to play”?
Wait a sec, this is a nice story of kids being kids. Such interactions are fascinating. But is it a valid generalization (or even desirable) to expect one gender to have more control in any (or every) relationship? I’m not convinced that possession of testicles or FS&SL has anything to do with it.
The counter-move is simple. You have him look her dead in the eye, square his feet and shoulders, brace himself and profess “Look woman! I’m the man here. Regardless of what age difference is between us or what ever power trip you’re on, I’m still the man. And that means one thing. That I am powerless against you. That it is my role in this life to see to it that the needs and desires of your gender — be they greater or lesser than mine — are fulfilled. Now what do you want to do, honey?”
Great obesrvation, Daniel. I love watching the interatctions of my kids with the neighbors kids and friends and seeing the social heirachy and manipulations that go on without their notice — blissfully ignorant of how they are being played. I’d say more but the Mrs. becons. Time to square up the shoulders.
What to do:
Smile, Nod, Do what she “suggests” and make her feel like the most important person in your world (because she is). The FS&SL is usually followed by genuine happiness when you do the above; if thats not good enough for you, then you need to move to formulating an exit strategy ASAP.
The counter-move (Females: read no further. Males: use sparingly only at your own risk because if you screw it up, you spend a LONG time in the doghouse):
Master the art of subtlely convincing her that whatever it is that you want to do actually is/was her idea in the first place.
Although it’s hard to sometimes decipher sarcasm I hope your just joking around there Mr. Bunny….
Now Daniel, as always I enjoy your stories and your ability to take any situation and make it comical. I don’t think there is however any counter spell/move to stop the look, the only thing else I know that is even more powerfull than that is if the woman sheds a tear then forget it.
mmmm. There is no counter. Only a chance to play again – but with better knowledge. Same as in wow – lock’s crush drood’s cause there is no counter to being feared. — but if you think of a counter – I’m happy to test it out for ya and report back what I find.
hahahahaha!!! *breathe* HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Great story.. I have 4 boys under the age of 5, and love watching them interact with each other and with other kids – especially girls, because we don’t have any of that species in our house (except me).
Anyway – can I get an explanation of FS&SL? I’m at a loss, and Google has forsaken me on this one…
Girls get it very young
A friend of mine has a daughter and a son, only about 14 months between them. Poor D was always bringing up the rear, whatever he was trying to do his older sister could do that bit better. When he was 4 he suddenly realised that he he had a willy and k didn’t, he was thrilled! We were all sat around the table when he stood up, pulled down his trousers and solemnly announced “Look, I’ve got a willy just like my Daddy’s” – he looked so chuffed with himself. His 5 yo sister gave him a withering look and replied scornfully “Yes, but he doesn’t show it to everybody because it’s boring” and carried on eating without batting an eyelid 
women are so OP
Poor boy, to take such a look at such a young age. It’s a testament to his strength that he yet lives . . .
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
There is no counter to a combo breaker I’m told, if you have one, please share it.
There is no counter-move for the FS&SL but there is treatment for it. Normally, the victim is advised to consume 2 cans of their favorite beer and a rare steak but in younger cases it can be remedied with a happy meal and a big bowl of his favorite flavor of ice cream.
The real problem isn’t so much the FS&SL, its the fact that the kids have code, and the code says that the oldest is the boss. Your son knew he’d “lost” before she ever dropped the look. The true strength of the female mind isn’t in the FS&SL, it’s in their ability to continuously probe our defenses, find our weakness, and slip through undetected! Boys are are designed for direct confrontation. Stealth and subtlety are like magic to us.
Sounds like it was a good lesson for him. Better to learn how to play nice from the start. If you’re negotiating power issues when you could be playing you’ve already lost anyway.
As soon as he learns to live sacrificially for the one he ends up loving, there will be no FS&SL. It is negated, totally.
Tim
Sorry Dan. I must agree with momzilla. There is NO counter move. I now feel bad for my brother though. Raised with 2 girls, this was a look he got often.
Sorry, the game of life is not balanced for 1v1 – there is no counter move
Nah, see the real thing here is that your son has discovered older women…. Life will never be the same.
xD That must have been amazing to watch.
I found something that worked for me when they flash the ‘look’. It’s a three parter.
1. Stare mischeviously
2. Start a slow smile which breaks out into
3. A rip roaring gut busting laugh
Oddly enough they don’t try the ‘look’ again but, and there’s always a but isn’t there? They then pull the ‘drag something up from the past even if they’ve used it before and it’s meant to be dead and buried trick’. To which I haven’t found a countermove other than a yes dear
You aren’t taught “the look”..you’re just required to practice it to perfection.
There isn’t a counter, true. There is only the shut down trump. A simple “Nope, that’s not what I want to do.” followed with a devilish grin and an about face off to do what ever else. Can also be used to counter a raging significant other (applicable to both sexes in this case). One of the things to broke up an Ex and I was that I simply would trump and shut off her steam when she went into a tantrum.
Though do remind Jr. that it is the gentlemanly thing to take turns, and to be fair to those under his commanding.
I agree that we are born with it, but the perfection of that move takes practice. It’s the pout that we learn over time
I advise you teach your son the “Smile and Nod” soon. Things will go much smoother in the future once he masters that move.