The big thing for which I am waiting, I am still waiting.
I lost a very, very good friend. Not as in lost-lost, or “I left her at Macy’s by accident” lost, but just lost. I hope she’s going to be OK, I miss her a ton.
If you are up north and are experiencing single-digit temperatures, I feel for you. But for us cold-blooded creatures in the south, temps in the 30s are worse because we have no reason to be used to it. Don’t mock me for my four layers of clothing or double-electric blankets, (only one of which is plugged it,) or wearing my lined leather jacket at the office. Yes it’s colder where you are, yes you have snow, yes you live in Chicago for some unknown reason, but you just don’t understand what we Floridians feel like right now. You just don’t.
I have the coolest iPhone case ever. The tall blonde at the restaurant yesterday confirmed it. Yes it’s a red crocodile-leather case. I like both the color and the texture. It’s wicked-cool, and hot college-aged women agree with me.
My one year of being “single” is approaching and while the loneliness is difficult, at least the pain of being alone with someone in the house is gone.
I have invited a friend down to visit for a weekend. I hope she can make it.
The more time I spend at Starbucks, the easier it is to laugh at people who need 42 adjectives to order their coffee. “Tall mocha” or “tall raspberry latte”, foshizzle.
The 100lb Puppy of Love has a fatty deposit in his left armpit that requires removal. It is not dangerous, but it will interfere with his walking. I can take my son to the doctor for shots and be brave for him, but when a vet touches my dog, I cry and sniffle. I’m getting teary just thinking about him having surgery.
My mean cat, Bisky Boodle, does not understand why I’m not taking pictures of her anymore. She’d me mad if I was, but is also mad that I’m not. Frankly, there’s just no winning with her and I quit trying years ago. If I am lying on the couch, she will hop up, but her face next to mine and say, “I am going to lie next to you, see? Don’t touch me. Don’t coo at me. Don’t call me cute names. Don’t move. I am here because I am sure it is an inconvenience for you, that’s all.”
I have no desire to make stuffed mushrooms anymore. My lemon chicken with carrots, celery, and bamboo shoots was an unmitigated disaster. I think my cooking is suffering because of my lost friend.
All the Christmas decorations are put away. It is both sad and cleansing, I think.
No, I am not going to join eHarmony or Match or anything else.
I totally scored at fixing my attorney’s computer over the holidays. I used to get a text or call every other day about a crash or lockup, but nothing at all this year. Extra RAM and a stay-awake program solved his problems.
The fungus in the 100lb Puppy of Love’s ears has been eradicated. We got through the weekend of peeing every three hours due to the medication, daily cleaning, and twice-daily ear drops. Does anything feel better than taking care of someone that looks into your eyes with total trust and love?
One of my friends who is right about everything, all the time, is gonna be wrong this time, I just know it.
Cub Scouts meeting this week means I get to hang out with parents. There is a mom there, married, who is very pretty and kind. It’s fun just to be around her because she and I are able to talk. We made pipe-cleaner candy canes together before Christmas while our kids brought us supplies. It was the fastest hour-long scout-meeting ever.
I need a new/used vehicle with a back seat, I know this. But my race car is almost paid off and the thought of no car payment is intoxicating. I hate purchasing used cars as the thought of car-repairs sickens me, but any new car is so expensive and such a depreciating investment. A used Porsche 911 has a back seat, but nobody will agree with me that this car would be a wise parenting choice.
Today I drove at a sedate 5mph through the 9″ cones they place in my son’s school parking lot. My car and I could totally smoke that course at 30mph easily, if they’d just move those Safety Patrol 5th graders out of the way.
Daniel,
I know 100% where you are coming from. Mine left me in November. No it hasn’t been a year, but it still hurts, and I my not have a cool little boy like your do, but I still know the lonelyness when walking through the door. She moved 800+ miles away as well, but went south. I still love & miss mine a ton too, as the tears begin to well up in my eyes. I hope she is ok, and safe myself, and wish she would see that I would still do anything for her. But like your sistuation, this was/is her choice. I’m dealing with it day to day and striving to better myself and to become a better man above all else.
I have read your blog, from the early days of your hunter blogs, and have laughed and cried with you and your stories. I too quit WOW to leave the fanasty world behind and deal with life head on and all of its challeneges. No more 16 hour days sitting in front of the PC killing trash mobs for the trinket, now I kill my innner shadows and become a wiser, kinder, understanding and, accountable gentleman.
Thank you Daniel for all of your blogs, and great stories, keep them coming and I will keep reading them.
Best of wishes & luck.
Warren (AKA Rimmerdall)
BRK,
I’ve said many times a used 911 is a fantastic family car with children. The car will not only avoid most accidents, it is designed to let the occupants survive them at insane rates of speed that you wouldn’t actually drive. Not only that, they have a big trunk that can hold 4 paper sacks full of groceries in the front.
Trust me.
Well Mr. Howell, I can relate with a lot of this. Being a texan that got a white christmas this year. It was 22 degrees when i looked outside just now. I hope the puppy gets to feeling better. But the cat, well… seems to be acting like a normal cat. There is one thing you can do, setup a couple large speakers on either side of where the cat is laying asleep, and hook in a recording of Bach, Toccata and Fugue in D minor. one of the selections using a deeper pipe organ for best results. and cranked up… >:-D especially the last chord at 9:42…
E-harmony isn’t too bad, just expensive.. after 2000 closed matches i found a wonderful woman there, we are married now.
I didn’t know your car could do 5mph.. i figured the idle was set for about 50.
Hope you have a great year.
The fact that we don’t know exactly how Floridians feel in those temperatures is exactly why we laugh. >.> I waited thirty minutes in 10 degree weather this morning because the trolley broke down. I can only imagine how many Floridians would have passed out from the cold by the time it finally arrived.
I was born in Tampa and lived there 40 years. It was a major event when temps were going below 32 and everyone prepared for the worst. I hated those mornings. I now live in Atlanta, and the temperature today at noon is 25. It is a beautiful winter day, and doesn’t feel that cold since the sun is shining. Go figure!
So sorry about the lost friend. Here’s hoping 2010 brings resolution to that issue.
-2 walking the dog last night. Your 30 is our -2. I remember phoenix a couple of years back and wearing winter coats when it dipped to 40. It’s all a matter of what you’re acclimated to.
There are days I’d kill for the ex to move far away. That was the original plan, but it fell through. Dammit.
Used 911 would be the most kick ass single dad car ever.
“My car and I could totally smoke that course at 30mph easily, if they’d just move those Safety Patrol 5th graders out of the way.” LOL. Thank you for that!
Muhahaha I left florida just at the right time. Was down there to enjoy the nice 50-60 degree temps and jetted back home to 11 degrees. Wait screw that give me 30+ any day over this bone chilling crap.
Hey nothing says you can’t have a sports car for a family car. I just took the booster seat out of my mustang since the winter car needed a second booster, and the 4 month old loves the mustang… Lots of goo’s and Gaa’s after smoking the tires for a block. Course the wife on the other hands thinks the exhaust/headers are to loud for the 4 month old. But I do try and keep the ROAR down when he’s in it.
Ohh to have warmer temps again and no snow.. I miss my http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3490/4054377462_7057ee5a30.jpg and my motorcycle
Daniel,
Sounds like you are doing what you need to do: take each day one at a time, treasure your time with your son, and take things slowly in other areas to give yourself time to emotionally recover.
Is this where I mention I met my husband playing WoW? Hell with eHarmony!
Hoping 2010 finds you healthy & happier.
~hugs~
Del
Hey I hate to ask this since it’s not really central to what’s going on, but do you have any more information about your dog’s ear fungus? Things like symptoms perhaps, or a link to a website that does? Our two little dogs have chronic ear problems that the vet has been unable to solve so far, the poor things.
Best of luck in the new year!
“Today I drove at a sedate 5mph through the 9″ cones they place in my son’s school parking lot. My car and I could totally smoke that course at 30mph easily, if they’d just move those Safety Patrol 5th graders out of the way.”
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one that has those thoughts.
Wow, your cat talks like TJ???
It sounds like you’re having a lot of fun with the Boy Scouts. After knowing my Assistant Den Leader for 3 years (who got promoted to Webelos Den Leader lasst September when I got promoted to Asst. Pack Leader) we finally visited with him & his family this past weekend for a New Year’s Day party. I couldn’t believe how we could work so closely with each other for so long yet never actually see each other outside Cub Scouts, and why it took this long for us to get together.
On the car side, the 911 is a great car, reliable, & lots of fun to drive. A friend of mine has two, both convertibles, one soft, one hard. Yes, they have a back seat; it’s small, but it’s there. And while it is small, it’s still big enough for two fully loaded Golf Bags so I’m sure a couple of small kids would fit just fine
On the lost friend side, I don’t know exactly what you’re going through there, but I do know the pain of “losing” a very good friend. I had one die on me 20 years ago, he was just 19 years young. At the time I wondered how on earth I’d ever go on without him and now I can’t believe it’s been 20 years since that day. Then my Dad went and died on me 5 years ago, and it’s the same situation. Wondering how you’ll cope with the loss, living each day one at a time, and suddenly realizing you’re still here, still living, and it’s 5 years later.
The important thing is to just keep living your life, and it sounds like you’re doing exactly that. Good for you.
It’s going to take time, but you will move on and be happy. You are a kind, warm, funny and intelligent man. Any woman would be very, very lucky to have you in their life. Little by little you will see your life changing and improving. It won’t happen over night. I know it’s tough right now but you are making the right decisions. Hang in there and know you aren’t alone. Alot of us care and love you!
What Portly said…
We got about 1″ of snow where I live in Ireland, unfortunately that 1″ did not thaw as it usually does and due to our County Council’s complete inability to take care of our roads the back road where I live is still a skating rink. They are talking about “Arctic Weather Patterns” on the TV here
I used to live in Minnesota and quietly chuckle. Happy New Year and may this coming one bring you all the blessings and happiness you can handle.
I remember being in San Diego for a conference several years ago, and as I walked past a phone bank in the hotel, one of the staff was talking to her child, reminding them to wear their “big” coat and a hat ’cause it was cold outside.
It was 50 degrees as the low temp for the night!
I grew up in the deep South, and live in Chicago now, and while I absolutely despise snow that hangs around for 3 weeks because the daily high temp won’t break 20 degrees, I still do not ever miss the weeks of 100+ degree heat and humidity. No thx.
Now, the mid-atlantic on the other hand……
Your melancholy is soothing. I have always cultivated a certain melancholy. Makes me feel aware and present. There’s a big difference between the hopeless feelings of depression and the malancholy of loss. Spending time in that state for me is very important.
I “courted” my wife via e-mail from Match. We didn’t meet for a month. We both consider ourselves decent writers, and that month of writing to each other really formed a foundation for our relationship now 8 years later. We often talk about how exciting and fun that was, and how much we learned about ourselves.
It made a believer out of me that connecting intellectually and spiritually before physical desire can clog your common sense makes a potential relationship much easier to navigate.
I e-mailed dozens of women via Match, dated 2 briefly, and I still remember that first e-mail from my lovely wife. Pow.
Take your time, dude.
*hug*
Just figured ya needed one. <3
BRK,
We love you. Not in a weird creepy way, but in a “people are thinking good vibes toward you” kind of way.
-Alastren and Ruth
Smiling =)
Regarding the car… Have you looked at the Infiniti G35/37 sedan? Built on the same platform as the Z-car, but with two more doors.
Thank you for understanding how this hellish weather feels to someone who may have grown up in NY but has taken a decade to get used to tropical winters. They just can’t understand up there.
Women, eh. I’ve only followed your story loosely and intermittently, but I know divorce of all sorts. One thing they have in common is not being relationship material again for a few years. So just have fun with women as you like, enjoy your son, and your friendships and hobbies.
You’re lucky to have him with you. This isn’t how things usually work out for fathers.
Sorry, aber das bezweifel ich ganz stark…Baer
Das h
Have you ever considered adding more videos to your blog posts to keep the readers more entertained? I mean I just read through the entire article of yours and it was quite good but since I’m more of a visual learner