Arm and Hammer Baking Soda for Carpets is worth every penny. If you have a pet, use the stuff. Not only is the scent acceptable, it really does make the pet-hair release itself from the carpet fibers. My oriental rug is green! I remember!
Star Wars Lego. We’re not there yet, but I can’t wait until we are.
You know that part in a relationship where everything is new and exciting and every uttered word *obviously* has a deeper meaning and you’re scared that when you say something it’ll be taken totally against the grain of how you meant it to be taken and then you worry about worrying too much? That never goes away, no matter how old you are, does it?
Chuck E Cheese. I don’t get it. At all. Bad food, thousands of unsupervised kids, parents huddled against the windows reading books and talking on the phone, four-year old boys being introduced to machine-gun video games, and multiple forms of alternative form of currency designed like Vegas. I’ve been once, I hope to never go again. Seriously, I’d rather catch a puddle-jumper to Biloxi next time.
You know why I always buy my son two Lego kits? Because that way I’m guaranteed to be able to put one together myself. The next time he goes on vacation, I’m buying a Big Set, like the Death Star, and just building it because it’s so much fun.
If there’s a source of Yoshi clothing out there, I would win major kiddo-points if I got the boy some of that swag.
My 350Z is approaching 120,000 miles before its fifth birthday. I have been car-shopping for over a year now, and am no closer to picking a replacement carriage than I was before. I need a fleet of vehicles and a multi-car garage, really.
You know you’re a parent when you use Murphy’s Oil Soap on the wooden computer deak, the black marker comes up mostly, but not entirely, and you’re pleased with the result anyway.
I am now friends with a seventh-grade English teacher who double-spaces after periods. You can see what my new 2010 New Years Resolution is going to be, don’t you. I will break her.
I purchased a tin of Starbucks mocha powder and have been spooning through it for a little over a month. It finally died last week, so I boogied over to Barneys and bought two proper bottles of raspberry syrup. It feels good to come home.
You know the five stages of grief? I have officially entered Acceptance and d@mn if it doesn’t feel fantastic.
Yes a Porsche sedan would solve most, but not all, my motoring problems.
It is almost the end of January and I have avoided Bed, Bath, and Beyond in-totality. I deserve a new, round tablecloth for that effort. I wonder who sells them? Oh wait…
iPad is a really stupid name. There, I said it. Jobs busted a grumpy on that one. Yes I still want one.
My son talks trash to me about Mario Kart for Wii. I am as good… I am almost as good at it as he is, and while I don’t feel the pangs of not being seven years old, I do wish I could guarantee myself that I could administer a proper Mario Kart butt-kicking when he taunts me. I may just have to spend his college fund on a motorcycle instead.
I said, “Have you seen this movie, ‘Marley and Me‘?”
She said, “No, so don’t tell me how it ends.”
I heard, “No, but tell me how it ends.”
I said, “THEY EUTHANIZE THE DOG. IT MADE MY SON CRY.”
She said, “You jack@ss, I said NOT to tell me.”
I said, “Um… you love dogs, so you wouldn’t want to see the movie anyway. It’s a good thing I told you.”
She said, “You’re probably right.”
I said, “So I’m off the hook?”
She said, “H3ll no.”
Grats on Acceptance. It takes a while, but you’re right, it feels damn good.
A note on that black marker: dunno if it works on wood, but to get sharpie off a white board, you color over it with dry erase and it lifts up. Might be something to try if you haven’t already thought of it?
Try a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser on the sharpie, just be careful because if you scrub too hard it will remove the finish.
I am buying that Yoshi shirt for myself right now. I broke myself of the two period habit without even knowing it. Twitter… plus you get to annoy @temerityjane all the time. It’s good fun.
I know you didn’t mean it but I actually LOL’d out loud and nearly choked on my tea with this…
“Chuck E Cheese. I don’t get it. At all. Bad food, thousands of unsupervised kids, parents huddled against the widows reading books and talking on the phone,…”
I know you meant “windows”, but I’ve been to Chuck E Cheese. I’ve sat on the benches, ate the very, very, very bad pizza because the kids were in the stage that’s beyond a ferret on crack and, h3ll, I paid for this. Wondered just how low were these college students that they took a job here and were they even making within smelling distance of minimum wage. The image of shell-shocked parents huddling up against widows was priceless.
I have a BA in English and I cannot believe anyone still does two spaces after a period. Anymore. Ever. You have my permission to use brute force to rectify this situation.
I glad you’re at acceptance. You’ll still find days when you go backwards but it’s normal. Have a latte or whatever it is and you’ll feel better.
iPad is beyond horrible as a name, but, when pressed, I can’t come up with anything better. I want one too.
A Porshe? .. uug..
Step up a notch
Lamborghini Estoque!
http://image.motortrend.com/f/10686998+w750/112_0809_01z+lamborghini_estoque+front_three_quarter_view.jpg
Lynx Body spray which i believe is called AXE body spray in the states will remove permanent marker from anything and i mean anything!
just spray it till it runs and then wipe clean
note to self…
Stop double spacing.
I CANT HELP MYSELF!
Great, now I have Lego envy. lol. I might just have to check and see what’s out there.
Just wait until your son is old enough for Erector Sets. If you buy multiple sets, you can build epic-sized versions of the different models.
I am a high school teacher, and I double space after periods. I also use an extra comma with my “and”. Two things which I encourage everyone to try out. It makes your writing easier to read and clearer. Except on twitter, then drop that shit.
The Nintendo World store in NYC (http://www.nintendoworldstore.com/) has TONS of licensed swag, and at least, from my last trip there, I remember plenty of awesome Yoshi stuff. I seem to recall you’re originally from the NY Metro area, got an old friend or family member that can hook you up?
Dude, Get the Imperial Star Destroyer or the Millennium Falcon. Not the little ones either, get the ones that are over 3000 pieces!!
Deconstructionists would tell you that there is no such thing as a coherent theme, anyway. Life has no meta-narrative; each piece is just its own thing.
Of course, most deconstructionsts are anal-retentives, who spend their lives creating meta-narratives to explain why there are not meta-narratives.
Does any of that help? No, I thought not.
So grats on ‘Acceptance’
Another option for sharpie is acetone. I’m assuming that you don’t have a chem-lab source of pure stuff. Buuut, if you have some nail-polish remover, it works too.
I made the exact same statement about the iTablet (I refuse to use its given name).
If you like the sporty handling but need more space, why not look into something like the Subaru WRX STI wagon? It’s got the power and handling you crave but also the space and comfort you need. Don’t worry about the styling because it looks pretty damn classy in black as well.
Nix the acetone nail polish remover on finished furniture.
When I was about 6, my older sister spilled nail polish on the coffee table. She used acetone-based remover to clean it up. She did manage to get the nail polish off, however she took the finish with it. Of course, she then convinced me that I did the damage with my hotwheels car…. I got a spanking for my sister’s clumsiness… found out about it when she confessed years later, and I’m still not letting her live it down. It comes up at least once during every family gathering.
Grats on acceptance Daniel, and good luck with Mario Kart envy. My almost 5 year old nephew whips my butt on every game for the Wii every time we fire it up, so I’ve gotten used to the disgrace.
The English teacher can work on your, “it’s” vs. “its”. You have that one wrong in “My 350Z is approaching 120,000 miles before it’s fifth birthday.”
^^
Fixed. Thank you. No ammo from the commenters, please!
As a lego nerd who has passed on his genes to a new generation, I understand. I still have my collection (thanks Mom!) and let the kids play with them, mostly. There are still a few sets that sit in daddy’s office and are only played with when supervised
Wow, the big tamale, the Death Star… $400 of nerdy mini-fig glory. My 6 year old kept telling me he was going to get it for me as a birthday present. It’s sweet when they love you and have zero concept of money
Skarlarth and Company
Medivh
My husband and I once went on a weekend trip to Memphis. The hotel was so bad (urine in the hallway bad) and the area we were in had deteriorated so much from when my husband lived there years ago that we purposefully drove to Nashville to go to his cousin’s daughter’s 5th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. THAT’S how bad the spot we were staying in Memphis was. (and we have no kids so are not inoculated to the noise at Chuck E Cheese).
A simple pencil eraser can get sharpie off SOME surfaces. No need for volatile chemicals. Use with care.
You know when you’re getting old – When the animitronic critters at Chuck E Cheese go “Hey, do you remember the 80’s? There sure where a lot of fun songs in the 80’s”. When I was a kid it was 50’s songs!!
Funny story about a Chucky Cheese type place. Elderly great Grandma wondered if those people ever get breaks, they’ve been on the stage so long. “Under those hot lights too” I added. Then is clicked in her mind, those aren’t people in suits.
I’m a double spacer, it helps with readability.
Barbasol shaving cream >> any cleaning product at getting stains out. Spray it on and leave for 15 minutes, then wipe away with a towel soaked in hot water and the stain will be gone – all for a fraction of the cost of a commercial cleaner.
Also, +1 to the Imperial Star Destroyer. 3,000+ pieces of LEGO awesomeness.
One word.. Maaaaxima… I’ve owned 3. The 2010’s are a dream… A more powerful engine than your 350Z with a much more acceptable back seat. They truly are 4 door sports cars.. and c’mon, click on my name and tell me that isn’t the most badass car out there. For the price, they’re by far the best car out there. For people like you and me I guess… We like quick, great handling, fun to drive cars… But we need a little more utility…
“You can see what my new 2010 New Years Resolution is going to be, don’t you. I will break her.”
should be…
You can see what my new 2010 New Year’s resolution is going to be, don’t you? I shall break her!
sheesh!
http://www.amazon.com/Super-Mario-Brothers-Green-Slippers/dp/B000XXXZYW
and the suburu wrx has the boxster style engine that porsche uses…
just saying.
I’ve found Hot Topic to be a great place to get Yoshi and other video-game related apparel. I bet if you buy online you won’t even have to interact with the multiple-pierced scary staff members that usually work there.
My husband has the Death Star, Star Destroyer, AT-ST walker (full size), and AT-AT walker. They are amazingly cool and complicated. Unfortunately we have no where to display the things when put together and besides the kids would probably destroy them so they are in boxes til they are a little older. We still play with “regular” legos though.
Chuck E. Cheese used to be “better” or.. maybe it’s because my kids were little and just enjoyed the robotic show and pizza, and the little ball pit/climby thing and ignored the rampant ticket-money-sink games. We like stuff like Magic Mountain now with goofy golf, go-karts, video games and laser tag. Too bad I have to take out a mortgage on my house to afford a birthday party there. >.<
Grats on acceptance, man! It’s soooo good to finally hear you say that word in relation to that subject. Gimmlette is right, though, that from time to time you’ll slip back a notch. The good news (and I’m sure this probably isn’t news to you) is that the elapsed time between slips will tend to increase asymptotically approaching infinity.
As Disney used to say “Keep moving forward!”
Still avoiding Bed, Bath & Beyond? I bet you could find a tablecloth at Kohl’s. Unless you’re avoiding them, too.
I loved going to Chuck E. Cheese’s when I was <10 years old. I'd tell you not to hate on it but I'm probably looking at the memories through feet-thick nostalgia goggles.
You said “She”. Can’t wait to hear more about “She”.
Star Wars Lego are super cool. My 11 yr old still digs Lego. Until/Unless Mom and Dad splurge for the “big” Millenium Falcon, Star Destroyer or Death Star, I just get to admire his X-Wing, smaller Falcon, and a B-Wing. But he’s got Mindstorms and Technic sets now that are totally awesome. Just wait until he’s old enough to do Lego League. That’s fun to watch.
He’s been watching a lot of Top Gear with me and the increasing levels of testosterone are directing him to super cars. So this Christmas he wanted one of the Lego Ferrari or Lamborghini sets. We got him the Lamborghini Gallardo. He was in heaven.
I found this joke when I was searching for some quick one liners to entertain my guild mates. I thought it would entertain you
F16 vs. C-130
A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.
The jet jockey decided to show off.
The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, ‘watch this!’ and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.
The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?
The C-130 pilot said, ‘That was impressive, but watch this!’
The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said: ‘What did you think of that?’
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, ‘What the heck did you do?’
The C-130 pilot chuckled. ‘I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll.’
When you are young & foolish – speed & flash may seem a good thing !!!
When you get older & smarter – comfort & dull is not such a bad thing !!!
The Chuck E Cheese in the town I grew up in was the best. It was originally a different business along the same lines. It had a separate (as in separated by an actual wall) area for the stage that was a bit higher up than the play area. The tables against the wall had a window that would look down at the play area then. Also, this Chuck E Cheese had actual games instead of just ticket games. Stuff like the TMNT arcade game, Simpsons game, and some futuristic motorcycle game (a favorite of mine).
Compare that to the Chuck E Cheese near my sister now. 3/4 of the games are ticket games, the other 1/4 are racing games. They need to bring back the actual arcade games and they can increase the age range they cater to.
Get that Death Star!
I’ve built it, along with the Star Destroyer, AT-ST, AT-AT, and my personal favorite, the Millineum Falcon from the same series. The latter is not for the feint of heart. It only took two days to build that Death Star, but the Falcon took a few weeks. If I think about it, I’ll email you the photo I took of all of them, minus the destroyer on our dining room table.
- Sam
http://www.lexus.com/models/IS/
Is what I drive. It’s groovy.
I totally have to get myself a Deathstar. I fear that my kids will “play” with it and it will look like what happened at the end of IV.