Took the boy to one of those bowling alley/arcade/expensive food/loud music for no d@mn reason/birthday mecca places.
1. Boy got his first “credit card” there. You know how you load it up with fake-money with real-money, then you spend the fake-money without thinking it’s real-money, but you KNOW it’s real-money so the anger is just doubled because they think you’re so STUPID as to NOT know it’s real-money. Yeah. He loved it.
2. Boy adores claw-machine games. He has a natural talent at them, too. On his fourth try, he got a NY Yankees necklace that is straight out of Jersey Shore. The girls — and there were a lot — who were quietly rooting AGAINST my son because THEY were trying to win it for THEIR boyfriends, started to hiss and “awww” when he won. But I gave them a 40-year-old-protective-father look, and they cheered and smiled for him. I’m sure I was burned in effigy later.
3. Yes, he won his necklace in four tries, but he used his remaining eight dollars on the exact same machine. No air hockey, no basketball, no race car game, nothing else. I guess he needed to work on his mad claw-game skillz.
4. If you’re going to take a bunch of kids to go bowling and aren’t sure whether or not to rent the lane per-game or per-hour, choose the per-game method. We didn’t complete a single game in the hour I rented the lane. Fun, yes. Cost-effective, heck no. Lesson learned.
5. I asked for mild, mild, MILD wings, so I could pretend they were BBQ chicken, for which the boy has been clamoring. They gave me medium. The boy didn’t try them, of course, as he was busy showing off his Bling to everybody, but I did nearly kill someone eles’s child with them.
6. I had a Bass Ale. All four sips of it. I was WAY outta control.
7. There was absolutely no need to get a stack of plastic glasses for the water pitcher. Without a marker to identify which glass belong to which child, it was a communal water festival. And no, pitchers of soda with a gaggle of kids and only two supervising adults is extremely bad strategy.
8. Each and every child threw a mild hissy-fit with the first bowl. Kinda like Wrigly Field in late March.
9. Mini-bowling should not be bogarted by birthday parties. Every single child came in, saw it was reserved, and complained loudly. And only two air hockey tables? It’s like a prison.
10. I’M SORRY BUT YOU’RE SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME, YOU’LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP FOR ME TO HEAR YOU OVER THE INDUSTRIAL-LEVEL OF TOTO THEY’RE BLASTING.
Ahh ….the joys of child ownership, er…I mean parenthood.
Remember when a cake from the local store and a sprinkler in the back yard were all that was needed for a kiddo’s birthday party.
LOL, very fun.
glad you survived.
and glad he had a blast!
So now your slamming toto?
rofl daniel, I know that protective father look you are talking about, i’m trying to perfect it myself, between my ex and current, I have 4 daughters ages 6y, 5y, 4y and 3mo. Someone kill me now before they become teenagers..
@ Lemil
You’ll be fine. Just make sure you purchase a shotgun before they’re teenagers. Whenever they bring one of their boyfriends over, make sure to be cleaning it…in a VERY visible location.
That sounds like you had a great time.
Ok, so your boy did, but isn’t that what’s really important here
I swear that today’s arcades are little more then gambling for kids. Especially the ones that reward you with additional tokens. I guess they have to do something to compete since a Playstation 3 or an Xbox 360 provides equivalent or better gameplay.
So that’s what it’s like to own a child?
Sounds like my childhood but from an adult standpoint. Haha. One day when I have a kid or two, I’ll keep this post in mind.
Firkin kegler isn’t the best place to take the youngin’, the fun spot is wayyy more enjoyable. go karts, arcade, what more could you ask for?
here are some helpful survival tips for next year:
1. only load up half of what you are planning on giving him. that way when he is done and comes and begs you for more, you can add it, and it may also help him to see there are other games he can play as well
4. you probably made out ok. each partially completed game counts as one game, so if you had 4 bowlers each on 2 lanes, then thats 8 games bowled
7. take a black marker and mark each childs name on the plastic cup. that is there cup for the day. if you want to be prepared, do this before they get there, however it is just as easy to do it as they get there drinks (takes a bit longer though)
for sure on the by game not hour. I just took my 2 kids for 2 hours $175 and we finished 2 games. by game would have been a hellofalot cheeper. they did have fun though.
And I thought it was bad now that my kid has just turned two. I’m soooo not looking forward to the Threes, Fours, Fives, Sixes, and etc.
At least we know we can all enjoy the misery together! Keep up the writing.
Tim
My nephew is only two, but still working on that look. Almost never needed because he’s just so damn cute that everyone smiles and loves him even if he’s being mischievous.
All these posts are good fun to read, and make me add things to my “keep in bag at all times” list
I might need a bigger bag by the time he reaches school age!
One of my self-imposed duties as an Uncle: Find gifts for my nephews that will annoy my sister <3
Last year's Christmas gifts – those huge nerf dart guns – and lots of candy.
Previous year's gifts – magnetix.
Not sure what to do this coming Christmas… yet…
THEY’VE GOT THE RAAAAAIIIIIIINS DOWN IN AAAAAAAAAAAAFRICAAA
heh, too cool. I’m not a child owner but do have a teenage sister. I do tend to have some nice talks with her potential boyfriends. Probably don’t work but I bravely show the protective brother look, lol.
My 6 yr old also is a fan of the claw machines. He refers to himself as the “Claw Master” when trying to talk me out of my quarters at the local Wal-Mart.
Love your blog<3
As a dual child owner, I was shocked, amazed, and slightly horrified when my oldest went to this…place…called the “Brunswick Zone” for a friend’s birthday party. Now, quick backstory, I used to bowl A LOT. At 22, I was carrying a 189 average and almost went pro (moved and had kids instead…probably a good trade). I remember the league party nights where we had “rock and bowl” where all the lights were shut off and they played bad techno/pop/country/screaming trees.
Now, they have taken a very chintzy gimmick and turned it into a high-priced, overrated, and over-commercialized corporate theme, complete with blacklights, TVs, and lazer tag. Yes, with a “z.” It’s sickening coming from a purist’s point of view. Bowling was never supposed to be cool and hip…it was the activity for people like me who smoked, drank, ate bad chili fries, and wanted to do all of the above while pretending it was a sport.
Naturally, the kid loved every minute of it while small pieces of me died inside with every new indignity foisted on the game I really used to enjoy. The humanity.
Oh..wonderfull post and great information …will have a try all the tips..thanks…
You actually make it seem so easy along with your presentation but I to find this matter to be actually one thing which I think I would by no means understand. It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me. I’m taking a look ahead to your next put up, I will attempt to get the hold of it!