Steak.
/looks around nervously
You need a pan.
/checks the phone, confirms it’s off
Cast iron.
/takes the battery out of the phone
With ridges to get those nice grill marks.
/puts the de-batteried phone under the bed
/blinks
And you want shallots red wine beef broth salt and pepper!
/examines the silence, warily
So what we want…
(DOORBELL RINGS!!)
/sighs
Hold on, please.
/opens door, says hello to the UPS man, signs that weird, brown computer upside-down, brings a small box inside, opens the box, finds another small box, opens that…
A cell phone?
(TELEPHONE RINGS!!)
NO NO NO NO!
(TELEPHONE RINGS!!)
I give up.
“Yel-lo?”
“BRK BABYCAKES!! I sent you your own Authentic Blizzard T-Mobile Communication and Tracking Gear! It’s sweet, and I can put you on the company plan for peanuts, and then I can call you using the OnStar in my Denali, anytime I WANT!”
“That’s… that’s something.”
“You’re not just whistling Dixie, chucklebuns! So what do you SAY?!”
“Say? Say to what?”
“To my offer of playing in the Friends and Family Alpha for Cataclysm, you loud-mouthed schnook! Quit making me beg; I’ll TOTALLY do it!”
“You never really offered. You just keep calling and yelling and…”
“BUY IT, MARJORIE! BRANDI SAID SHE WANTED A SHARPIE!”
“A sharpie?”
“Brandi wants to color something, I guess. I’m having my Personal Executive Administrative Assistant buy one. Why we need to get dog food I have NO idea. But it’s just money, Pablo! I keep a box of it in the yard like Tony Soprano!”
“Maybe Brandi wants a sharpei?”
“She can have as many crayons as she wants, but that’s not important NOW!”
“What is important now?”
“You and my Alpha, BRK! Get in, sit down, shut up, and hang on!”
“Well just how alpha is this alpha?”
“It’s wicked-alpha, that’s what I’m saying. We’re not even using the word Cataclysm yet; we just abbreviate it with a K!”
“But Cataclysm begins…”
“‘WHERE IS MY K?!’ I yell at those dweebs, and they scurry about, slapping keyboards and making silly voices into microphones. It’s heady, I tell ya! Just like Emperor Palpitations!”
“I’m completely lost…”
“You wanna see Cataclysm before everyone else, make recommendations, point fingers, gesticulate wildly…”
“Nice word, gesticulate.”
“Thanks! Got a Word of the Day calendar from Brandi for Christmas; that was January 1st!”
“Well you nailed it.”
“BRK, ya make me feel so special! This is EXACTLY why we need you!”
“What’s the gig pay?”
“Pay? Pay you? You’re REALLY thinking outside the box on that one! I named a gun after you; that’s the end of the line, Princess!”
“OK, so you want me to come out of retirement, try the Cataclysm alpha, make recommendations, restart the old blog, and what else?”
“Whatever you want! The world is your oyster! The sky’s the limit!”
“How about I not reach for the sky and just blog a little, do a few movies and screenshots. I don’t want to do forums and radio shows and raid 25-mans and turn this into a second job again.”
“You’re the boss, sassafras! I mean, I just FEEL the creative juices from here!”
“That’s disturbing.”
“Art ain’t pretty! Warhol said that, I’m certain!”
“So what happens now?”
“MARJORIE! DO WE HAVE THE MARKERS?! YES? THEY WET THE CARPET!? HOW DO MARKERS DO THAT?! KEEP THE CAPS ON ‘EM, DANG IT! NOW EMAIL BRK THE ALPHA CODES, RIGHT PRONTO, OR YOU’RE OUT ON YOUR PENCIL-SKIRTED KEISTER!”
“You’re certain that’s so wise; saying those things to her?”
“Mom takes a great deal of abuse, you’re right, but she always puts baby carrots in my lunch box even after I TOLD her I like celery. She’s lucky I give her a job at all!”
“Well the email arrived. I’ll start downloading.”
“You’re on the ball! Let me know what you think! I gotta run and get those markers to Brandi before they ruin my alpaca carpets!”
“You do…”
(click)
“…that.”
So one more day, and I’ll do the steak thing. I swear.
WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO
This is looking very good indeed
Welcome back BRK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers Alg
p.s. If you are ever in Aegwynn look me up we will have a few pints in IF
Fo’shizzle?
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
BTW if you ever want to sneak in all quiet- like, where no one knows you and do a little light raiding, maybe one night a week, I’ve got a spot for you on our top ICC10 and/or 25 man. No questions asks. It would be an honor sir.
Yay!
Wait, what? You mean………….
/swoon
Huh? Out of retirement? Hunters rejoice!
YAY!!!!
/cheer!!!!
Consider the cost. It’s easy for us to slip back into the comfort of the old even if it is sometimes wrong for us. I loved BRK and followed you here. I’ll follow you back if that’s the path you choose. Do what makes you happy. But I’ll take a happy Daniel over a reluctant BRK a thousand times over. Either way, I’m still a big fan and admirer…of both personas.
I’m with Tony up there. If the balance is there, then it’s cool your coming back. Don’t make it a job if you don’t want too dood. Please, please ENJOY the game. As big as a BRK fan and I was, and now a Daniel’s brain fan. (Did I mention I love your brain?) I too would prefer you happy and sane.
Danial is a big boy, the concern is touching, I do not think we need to worry. For now we should rejoice in the fact we are getting BRK back. Let the pigeons loose, so we can shoot them
Hope he can find a balance, but with the legendary hunter back maybe they will not totally mess up our beloved hunter class and BM might get the love it so badly needs.
Better get cracking – there are all sorts of new spirit beasts you need to add to your stable!
Woot! Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on Cataclysm… or K… or whatever it’s being called these days.
Is the single greatest hunter ever possibly considering stepping back into the limelight? Hunters everywhere around Azeroth are waiting with baited anticipation as to whether the Great BRK will come out of retirement and resume a life amongst the gaming community.
I can only say that I hope so but if done at a slightly less frentic pace than before as his priorities are now most definitely in order.
Yay. Just….yay!
Kulat & Kulcat
looks like i’m rolling a worgen hunter! a promise is a promise! zomg, you blogging lightly as BRK, doing some videos… makes me very very happy. but be strong, and please keep that life/WoW balance going.
One word.. AWESOMESAUCE!!!!!
Daniel:
Long time lurker, first time (maybe second time, LOL) commenter:
This series of three “On the phone” posts are simply some of the most exciting, funny, creative… Simply some of the best blog writing I have ever seen. If Greg is reading these I can only imagine how much he is freaking laughing right now, because aside from the stark announcement and rejoice for the return of BRK, we are all laughing *with* you right now.
NOES! http://www.bigredkitty.net is blocked at work!! ARRRRG! For some dadgum reason it’s listed as “Games”.
Must find workaround.
/adds BRK.net to Google feed – “Come on, come on, work, work!!”
BTW – I think I’ve seen Alton starting that same steak recipe. It’s a good one. =P
Firstly: FOR SHIZZLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Secondly: These posts are awesome writing. I’m on the edge of my seat and laughing to myself at the same time.
Thirdly: Can’t wait for your thoughts and insight.
D: Keep it simple. Like you said, just blog and leave it at that.
OOOOhh my gosh. Sooo stoked Daniel!!! I quit just a bit after you… Something about the old world is lame without great videos and an amazing community blog to talk to fellow trackers of land animals. I’ll hop onto this train with you Dan, I just have to pace myself.
Whatever you decide, I’ll still check in to see how things are going. PS: Tell that crabby man to let us horde fellas get our hands on some proper BRK firearms.
It would be fun to visit, but I dont want to live there anymore…. I prefer steak.
/giggle!
I love reading your posts. Really its you as a writer I love, hunter or cook. I don’t EVEN play a hunter… unless the one on the computer next to me goes AFK for a moment.. but then its just all auto shot while I heal so I am sure that does not count for much.
I will now have to RE add and maybe RE follow the Old blog…
So steak please (I really really want one of those pans, but to make that happen YOU need to convince my beloved and dear Husband that steak needs more than fire and a stick to be cooked.)
Yay!! Welcome back BRK!!
I don’t play as much as I used to, and the resto shaman almost became my main for a while, but I foresee much hunter excitement in my future, while still playing more moderately. I have to keep the restraints on.
Oh, I do want to know how the 100lb puppy of love is. Haven’t heard from/about him recently…
Welcome back brother! I might actually have to roll a hunter now!
Welcome back, BRK! Brain, make sure you find a balance in there. Daniel, have loads of fun!
BRK BRK BRK BRK!!! /Chant mode off
Maybe I can bring my hunter out of retirement especially since paladins are getting soooo nerfed in cat…
I am so excited, I think I just peed a little. Welcome back BRK!
You best not be yanking our chains here Daniel/BRK. I saw what Clifdog wrote up there and my heart both leapt and resonated with the truth of it. I can’t wait for the MQoSRDPS to start flowing and my noobish mind to start absorbing the pearls of wisdom… Ok maybe that was a bit far, but learning = fun and BRK’s brand of fun learning = epic win.
Ridged Cast iron? No, no, no…go to the junk store, re-season a pre-war flat bottom skillet, and then start your steak. Those ridges are for women. sigh…if your huntering’s going to be like your steak I don’t even know if you should come back….
Seriously though…this is the spot where I am doing the Perfect Strangers “Dance of Joy” at the thought of you guiding the Hunter Class changes for the expansion. Forget alpha leaks of screenshots and abilities, this is all I need to know, they may resume taking my money now.
Oh man, I get rid of my hunter. Kind of Hiatus wow.
Now hunters are getting energy and BRK will be playing.
FFFFFFFF I’m going to have to level one aren’t I.
The sole reason I started a hunter was because I was so fascinated on how awesome and fun BRK made the hunter class look. I rolled a hunter in WotLK, and I’ve never looked back. It’s great to know that my idol is coming back, and even greater to know he’ll have more fun than ever doing it. Nothing is more rewarding than having a hobby and still having priorities. Can’t wait Daniel!
Them pesky sneaky bilzz guys…
Holy poop!!
Anyone else starting to think that Ghostcrawler is trying to hide Daniel’s super secret steak recipe? It’s almost as if he doesn’t want us to eat!
Also, welcome back!
woo-HOO! The greatest thing about WoW and RL is finding that balancing point where they work together beautifully; glad you found it Daniel. Welcome back to the Stables and everything is right in the Hunter Universe!
All is right with the World (of Warcraft)!
“Great News Everybody”
I am glad that you have decided to come back atleast long enough to get some input to the people at Blizzard. The videos and such you made of Wotlk Had me excited for the release. I have to admit tho I hung my hunter up and rolled a pesky DK. Which has since been turned into a farm bot. Currently im the MT healer on my cockroach of death haha. I have been leveling my hunter recently and remember why I started that toon to begin with…killing the dps meters.
Just remember this Daniel wow is digital crack.
Great posts! I have been glued to my screen these past few days (as I’m sure you intended)…can’t wait for more Blogs and BRK update goodies!
/cheers
/begs for BM love
Welcome back good sir, welcome back!
Happy Dance! Welcome Back!
Just remember, it’s a game and not a job. If you don’t feel like playing one night or ten, it’s still going to be there for you later when you want to goof off.
Well, this just means I’ll have to dust off my hunter & continue my search for my Spirit Beast.
/salute
And all was right with the world again.
Dude…. /happytear
Wait… Dan, you’ve just managed to completely confuse me now. Not that it’s terribly hard to confuse me, but my brain just somehow managed to find a mental BSOD.
Let me see if I got it right… you’re going to play WoW again? You got into the alpha? Incoming goodness that is BRK?
… I’m really looking forward to that steak post. :p
There’s too many young hunter upstarts around here – using melee weapons as things other than stat sticks, rolling need on cloth, and not even TRYING to get to hit cap.
We need a well respected hunter to get them into shape. Glad to have you back.
STEAK! STEAK! OOOOOOOHHH ITS A STEAK!!
BADGER BADGER BADGER!! BADGER BADGER BADGER!! MUSHROOM!! MUSHROOM!!
OMNOMNOM!! I LOVE STEAK!!
This post is brought to you by ‘I LOVE STEAK INCORPORATED’.
/implode
To be honest, I’d prefer the recipes and the stories to the hunter commentaries. Sure, it was reading/watching BRK that pulled me out of mediocrity to uberleet second – job BiS showers, but I don’t want a raiding second job any more. I tried to quit round the same time BRK went down, went back a few months ago, trying again now. I can tell you objectively the reasons why raiding hardcore is detrimental to my life, can’t even dream how much I missed out on IRL by running circles round Dalaran, but by God I can still count the exact number of days since I last played. I worry that there’s no such thing as casual once you get the bug; my heart fell a little at this news.
‘Michael Corleone: “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.
[Our true enemy has not yet shown his face.]” ‘
Welcome back BRK
TTFN
Katta