a Daniel Howell blog
Posted in Life on Sep 19th, 2009
Now listen, I grew up with the greatest cartoons ever made: Bugs Bunny and Road Runner. What’s the equivalent in today’s cartoon market? Nothing. Phineas and Ferb is pretty darn good, though. The weak link is the pet platypus, which is why P&F doesn’t beat out Bugs; Warner Bros had no weak links in their [...]
Posted in Life on Aug 30th, 2009
There is a LOT of stuff going on in my life, and I’d love to write about it, but I can’t. Not because I’ve been legally barred from doing so, but because, frankly, sometimes doing the right thing means not doing anything. I would absolutely LOVE to vomit a 10,000,000 essay about my life. But [...]
Yes, I logged on WoW. I was not my decision. Certain people did certain things but didn’t get those certain things done so I had to do things to get things done. I got my things done, and now that they’re done, WoW is gone again. If you don’t understand — and you probably don’t [...]
Posted in Life on Aug 26th, 2009
/ring ring! Hallo? Daniel, this is your attorney. Hallo! You’ll be at your appointment tomorrow? Yes. Good. Do you like coffee? I make the best coffee in Orlando. I like coffee, but probably not your coffee. I make the best coffee! Yes, but I only like lattes. Lattes? Yes, raspberry lattes. … So what you’re [...]
Posted in Life on Jul 27th, 2009
Men are scanning you, ladies. All of you. All of us. Perpetually. There is a difference between scanning and leering, and we men know that. Most men are capable of not leering most of the time, but we all scan. This scan even has a name: The Yes-No-Yes. We scan you in three separate data-points: [...]
Posted in Life on Jul 24th, 2009
Daniel, I don’t wanna watch Obi-Won Kenobi run around with Scarlett Johansson if they’re not gonna get frisky. Brain, shut up. It’s not that bad a movie. It’s horrible, Daniel. I don’t like to invoke His name, but this is truly God Awful. Brain, behave. CMON OBI-WON! Use the Force and get ‘er naked! Brain! [...]
Posted in Life on Jul 23rd, 2009
Lunch this week: Thai Monday, Indian Tuesday, leftover pork Wednesday, Chinese Thursday. Friday has to rock. Polynesian? Japanese? I need another USB cable for my iPhone. Amazon has them for $4 with shipping, but I’m leery; sounds too inexpensive. I change the catbox litter three times per week: both garbage eves and Saturday. I don’t [...]
Posted in Life on Jun 23rd, 2009
Hey Brain? Yes Daniel? There’s a small puddle of goo on the tile right outside your bedroom door. Goo? Describe it. Clear. More gelatinous than water. Pooled in a circular formation, approximately six inches in diameter. It’s probably dog vomit. Not from the cat? The cat prefers to vomit on the really good carpet, or [...]
Posted in Life on May 28th, 2009
So I’m getting a divorce. There, I said it. I have been going through a lot of grieving these past months, a lot of sadness, anger, and many completely sleepless nights, but I am finally able to accept it; my marriage is over. My future-ex moved to Connecticut in February and decided not to come [...]
