So yesterday we were getting into what makes a steak a steak before we were bizarrely interrupted. Well let’s get back to bidnezz, shall we?
Cast iron, my friends. Not aluminum, not stainless steel, not non-stick DuPont fluoropolymer resins. Cast honkin’ iron is where…
(telephone rings!!)
…our salvation lies when it comes to cooking steak. What you want to be considered knowledgeable and hip is a cast iron…
(telephone rings!!)
…grilling pan. What makes cast iron so awesome? Specifically, it’s the…
(telephone rings!!)
…ability of the metal to…
(telephone rings!!)
OMG answer the phone, someone!
/sigh
(telephone rings!!)
Yeah. I’ll get it.
“Yel-lo?”
“BRK BABY!”
“Greg?”
“You nailed it, sweetheart! First try; so you get a prize!”
“What do you want, Greg.”
“A solid gold yo-yo and a piazza. But I’ll settle for knowing what your summer plans are! I have some stuff about which we must speak all legal-like!”
“My summer plans?”
“Yes! I’ve got a couple of SeaDoos and a 2010 Ford F-150 SVT Raptor that’s demanding some TLC from you and me!”
“Seriously?”
“Pfft. Heck no. Like I’m gonna give up a SeaDoo when Brandi named her’s ‘Bouncy Mo’Mouncy’? You’re outta your lemon tree, you are.”
“Greg…”
“Listen, whatcha DOIN‘ this summer? Family stuff?”
“OK, since you asked, I’ll tell you: My son is going to visit his mother for the summer.”
“For the whole summer? Like gone? Out of state?”
“Precisely.”
“So whatcha gonna DO, cochise? Prospect for gold in the Peruvian mountains? Photograph bikini models in Bimini? Write a movie for Johnny Depp that doesn’t suck?”
“Work. Write. Cook. Blog, and maybe…”
“Be a boring childless single parent while keeping an incredibly clean house and going to the movies alone, I HEAR you, and it sounds dreadful and utterly pathetic and lonely.”
“I won’t be alone.”
“…”
“…”
“YOU DOG!! I’m proud of you, you old rat b@stard! Tell me…”
“Line. Sand. Drawn. Enough.”
“Whoa whoa WHOA, babycakes, it’s all good. Understood, limits are limits and I won’t press.”
“Thank you.”
“Does she have a sister?”
“BE QUIET!”
“You’re right; Brandi would totally NOT go for anything like that.”
“Sheesh.”
“So anywho, here’s my idea! You’re gonna be pathetic and bored and lonely…”
“Um, not…”
“… and I’ve got this little project that I need some help with! How much karma does it take to fill a room? I don’t know, but we’re almost THERE!”
“What’s the project?”
“PUT MORE HORSERADISH ON IT! HORSE. EEE. SAUCE! I SAID EXTRA!”
“Horsie sauce?”
“Arby’s chuckleheads can’t get an order right if you burned the list into their cerebellum with a laser. CURLY FRIES AND A DR. PEPPER, YOU ANIMALS!”
“I like curly fries…”
“So my project needs someone of refinement, quality, breeding, artistic flare, and a disposition as sunny as the surface of Mars…”
“Why does this sound like it’s starting badly?”
“So I called Pike, but she didn’t answer.”
“Bazinga?”
“So you’re UP, buttercup! Whatcha say to THAT!”
“Say?”
“To THAT, yes!”
“Well I think…”
“I WANT A PAPER-WRAPPED STRAW OR I’M GONNA COME IN THERE AND BASH SKULLS!! You were saying?”
“I think I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Dude!”
“Dude?”
“DUDE! Let me send you an email and tell me what you think!”
“Well O…”
(click)
K.
…
Yeah, so no cooking again today. These interruptions need to stop.
10. Adobe won’t share its Rice Krispies Treats. See, Adobe’s mom made a crap-ton of RCTs, and Adobe sat on the porch and invited Apple and Microsoft over to share, but then Adobe ran in the house, slammed the screen door, and shook his kiester at ‘em.
I need a 1GB stick of PC2700 DDR 200-pin RAM for a friend’s PowerBook G4. Does anybody have one lying around they don’t need? I’ll trade you for my Chicken Marsala recipe!
10. First generation hardware, foshizzle. I don’t care if it is an Apple product, it’s going to have bugs and shortcomings and pieces of watermelon rind stuck in the bezels. Let other people find the problems and wait until iPad 2.0 hits the shelves before plunking down a car payment for one of these things.
DADDY DADDY DADDY CAN WE GO SWIMMING THERE ARE PEOPLE AT THE POOL AND SOME ARE SWIMMING SO THE WATER IS WARM ENOUGH TO SWIM AND I WANNA GO SWIMMING SO CAN WE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GO SWIMMING?!?!?!
Took the boy to one of those bowling alley/arcade/expensive food/loud music for no d@mn reason/birthday mecca 
